Birthday Girls - Photo Album

As I watch Kate and Caroline together, I often try to imagine what it would be like to spend every minute of your life with your very best friend. We rarely separate them, but when it happens, they are clearly distressed, and even I feel the urgency to bring them back together again. They slept side by side for the first six months of their life- until they could roll around. But as soon as they could climb in and out of their cribs, they would make their way back to each other during the night. They still do it often. We find them blissfully sprawled all over each other.

Caroline continues to go about life with a twinkle in her eye and mischief in her smile. She has a very strong will that makes us choose carefully when to cross her, but at the same time, she is playful and gleeful and quite a little lady. She wears a princess dress 24/7 these days, and loves to skip and frolick her way through life.

Kate is still all girl in the drama department, but has transformed into a peaceful, easy-going and even sweetly silly little soul. She still loves to imitate everything I do. I often find her pulling out dirty underwear from hampers and folding them into perfect little piles. She clearly enjoys being able to talk now and makes a great effort to learn to express herself. She's still very cuddly, and despite her growing independence, comes to me often to be held or rocked like a baby until her love tank is full again.

While they are definitely different personalities, so much about them is the same and it comes out in their sweet conversations with each other. They have a vocabulary all their own and speak with the exact same intonations and inflections. I love to listen to them chatter in a distant room, or overhear the combined laughter echo from their bedroom at night. I try to imagine how their friendship will develop over the years, and I am envious, in a happy way, of the gift they have in each other.

Here are a few pictures taken this past year that reflect a little bit of that unique relationship that perhaps only twins can ever know:

Birthday Girls and Playdough Molds

Kate and Caroline turned 3 this week!

A monumental occasion, but we celebrated very simply:

with playdough!


And I got to thinking...

I like to talk about how these girls turned my world upside down.

But the truth is

They turned it right side up.

They have rolled me

And stretched me

And shaped me

Bit by bit.

And piece by piece.

Into a different creature

Than I was before.

Thank heavens for my little friends.



Happy Birthday girls!

I love every sweet and spunky bit of you both!

Josefa, Where Are You?

Once upon a time, I had a cleaning lady.

For 4 very short, glorious months. A birthday present from Creighton. Why on earth I didn't hire a cleaning lady the minute I was pregnant with twins, I cannot tell you. Actually, I can: I figured surely I could take care of things. And surely I could put that money to better use. Surely we can't afford a MAID!

Silly Silly Silly Me.

I had a couple of good friends with cleaning ladies. They're the ones who finally convinced me I wouldn't be less of a person, or go broke if we hired one.

Her name was Josefa.

Oh, Josefa, how I miss you. This woman waltzed in my home the very first day and did not leave until every nook and cranny was spotless and smelled like a summer breeze.

Oh Josefa....

I wanted to weep and shout for joy and hug her and fall to my knees in gratitude- this mother with no hands that I was. When we hired her, we specified that we only wanted floors and bathrooms cleaned- which is what I could never get to. But she refused to do only part of the job, saying something about her work ethic. I was frustrated at first, and considered telling her we just couldn't afford her if she wasn't willing to do only what we asked. But I didn't.

Oh, I'm so glad I didn't.

I was usually there while she cleaned. There with my arms balancing babies and my eyes trailing toddlers. We would talk while she worked- about the injustices in her life. About the prejudice towards her people. About her family's struggle to survive. All in her broken English. I wanted to suggest she learn "the language," and get some training... or go to college...or a number of other things that would have only offended. So I didn't. Instead, I listened. And sympathized. And glimpsed the world through her eyes.

And all the while I was inexpressibly, overwhelmingly

grateful.

I didn't realize how much my dirty home was weighing me down mentally. Frustrating me endlessly, because I simply couldn't get to it. Suddenly, all of that weight and frustration was swept, mopped and scrubbed away by my dear friend, Josefa.

Josefa brought me relief. She restored my perspective, freed my mind, and soothed my stretched-out soul.

Just like that.

After 4 months, I received a message one day from Josefa telling me she could no longer continue cleaning homes. She would not be back. I was sad. The timing was good. Our home had just sold, and we were on our way out.

But there are days still when I miss Josefa. Days when the dust balls creep in and the smears smudge all, and all the toilets call... How I would love for her to waltz in and whisk, wipe and whoosh it it all away- and all of my frustrations too.

And how I would love to know that some of her sorrows have been swept away in kind.

Knowing- and loving- Josefa was worth every penny we didn't think we had to spare--

on a cleaning lady.

So Far So Good

After two full weeks of homeschool with Luke, here is my report:

Glorious.

Is that too big a word? Really there doesn't seem to be one to describe how I feel. So I'll choose that one for now. What would you say if you were feeling little swells of:

• peace
• purpose
  
• contentment
• order
• rhythm
• fulfillment
• satisfaction
• hope

all in the same day, or even all in the same moment?

I don't mean to exaggerate. My days continue to be filled with all the usual motherly duties and challenges, but I'm used to those. I'm used to the regular ups and downs and ins and outs of a day. I suppose I must be in the honeymoon stage of homeschooling, because I'm reveling in a new dimension of purpose. There's a certain feeling of synergism embarking on this path that I hope to write about soon.

And Luke? Luke seems to be gobbling up opportunity. We have a general structure to our day, including time for working together, scripture study, reading, helping with meals and mom-school. Luke gets to fill in the blank spots with anything he wants to pursue. Here is a list of some of the things he has done with little or no prompting from me. If anything, its interesting to see what he has chosen to do with his time:

• Conducted a dramatic clean-out and reorganization of his room
  
• Memorized the first two paragraphs of The Living Christ (with me), including copywork (for his handwriting.)
  
• Learned how to type! No more plucking.
  
• Researched lizards and all things required to own and care for one. Trip to petsmart to calculate costs. Comparison shopped.
  
• Learned how to list items on Ebay and Craigslist from his room purge for said lizard. (good luck!)
  
• Came up with a long-term plan for extra chores in order to earn money for same lizard- and went to work.
  
• Learned how to take pictures, transfer them to computer, edit, crop and upload.
• Researched vultures for hours, then decided to learn how to create an Excel spreadsheet in order to organize the facts on vultures so he could turn it in as a project for Cub Scouts.
• Acquainted himself with PowerPoint, created a slide-show complete with charts, graphs and photos and then taught his mother how to do the same.
• Explored Microsoft Word, then typed out the paragraphs he has memorized so far from The Living Christ using various Word features.
• Created a typewritten glossary for his new language, developed over the past few months.
• Learned how to make yogurt cheese, and did so!
• Learned how to make bar chocolate, and did so!
• Learned how to dice and chop carrots and potatoes (a step up from slicing) using the BIG knife.
• Determined the weekly dinner menu and wrote a grocery list for same.
  
• Started and completed his Pinewood Derby car (with Dad).
• Took apart an old birdhouse and made a plaque to mount his coin collection on.
• Used the remaining wood to make a propeller attached to string, then proceeded to swing it around in varying directions and speeds, guessing which machines made the accompanying sounds- and why. (!!)
  
• Read 250 pages of his novel
• Learned all kinds of interesting things with Mom from This Week in History. (Would you believe I've never known what Florence Nightingale did?) Spent a good chunk of time learning about Edward Lear- his life, his limericks, his art. Realized we had a book with some of his limericks in it and pulled it out to read.
• And more.

I figure that's a pretty good start. We have a math plan in the works. Fortunately Luke already loves math. I'm counting on him to lead the way with the others in the future while I get over my own math inhibitions. I'm certain there will come a day when he chooses to read over other things, but for now, we're both enjoying exploring all of the possibilities.

All of this was helped by initially sitting down with Luke and creating a plan for our days, both short and long term. We outlined the daily and weekly schedule together and mounted it to the wall (it's a dry-erase poster, so we can change it as needed). Then we made lists of things Luke is interested in learning about that he can refer to. We also listed projects that I plan to have him do with me, such as:

Memorizations
Service Projects
Emergency Preparedness
Food Storage
Planning the Garden
Natural Health Remedies
Compiling Photo Albums
Yardwork
Home Projects
and so on...

And so forth.

It just feels good. And when Miri came home today with a fistful of candy (for good behavior!), announced that people were throwing up at school, and asked me if she could make a poster on Justin Bieber (who??? I had to google him to figure out who he is and how to spell it), and when Abby then handed me a form requesting money for a special program on anti-bullying, I had to laugh in astonishment. Really?? I could actually feel my mind descending from another place.

Fortunately I know that their schooling is more than this, but at that moment, the contrast was sharp.

We're off to a good start, Luke and I.

11 Step Program...For Having Kids

I just read this and laughed so hard I couldn't breathe. (Apparently I'm starving for some humor!)
Thought I'd share:

11 Step Program for Those Thinking of Having Kids
by Amy Lawrence

Lesson 1
1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their…1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child’s breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3
A really good way to discover how the nights might feel…1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can’t get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4
Can you stand the mess children make? In order to find out…
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.
Time allowed for this…all morning.

Lesson 6
Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don’t think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don’t look like that.1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.
Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7
1. Go to the local grocery store.
2. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat.
3. Buy your week’s groceries without letting the goats out of your sight.
4. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.
Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8
1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.
You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 9
1. Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street, Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon.
2. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you’re thinking What’s ‘Noggin’?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10
1. Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying ‘mommy’ repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each ‘mommy’; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required).
2. Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years.
You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11
1. Start talking to an adult of your choice.
2. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the ‘mommy’ tape made from Lesson 10 above.
You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will say ‘it’s all worth it!’

Remember, a sense of humor is one of the most important things you’ll need when you become a parent!

New Years Resolutions

The other day, Abby went around asking everyone in our family what their New Years Resolutions are. I found her list in my room this morning:


Luke: To get a lizard.

Abby: Get back in ballet classes.

Miri: To go to Utah.

Tricia: To read a lot of books.

Creighton: To not let a lizard in this house.



Poor Luke.

I am a Product of Public Schools.

I enjoyed school and had a great experience overall. I was well prepared for college. Because of this, I've never had any reason not to send my children through the public school system. So far, it has gone well for them. The shift to thoughts of homeschooling for me was not a reaction to any negative experience for us. It was literally a result of pure inspiration. It would have to take something dramatically positive (or negative) to get me to change course, and this was absolutely positive.

Homeschooling, in the traditional sense, has never appealed to me. I am not interested in doing "school" at home. I've had enough experience with homework to know that it would be a painful experience for everyone trying to move my children through a set curriculum at a pre-determined pace. What completely turned my head and led me down this path was an introduction to a method of homeschooling that resonated with me and the goals I have for our family.

I need to back up, though and tell a little story: When Luke was in pre-school, a group of mothers and I stood around talking one day about pre-school options in our area. A number of mothers voiced their concerns over whether this pre-school or that pre-school was academic enough. Our children were all 3 years old at the time (!!) and we were making plans for the following year. The general consensus of the group was that a pre-school emphasizing socialization and play was fine for 3 year olds, but that 4 year olds ought to have more of an academic base in order to prepare them for kindergarten. No one wanted their child behind the others from the get-go.

I had an interesting experience- not unlike a movie, where the cameraman zeroes in on one person and amplifies their thoughts over the background conversation. My thoughts were definitely amplified, and went something like this:

"Why are we concerned about academics for four year olds??"
"What did the Founding Fathers do when they were four years old?"
"I'm sure their mothers weren't sending them off to pre-school."
"What did Benjamin Franklin do?"
"What about Thomas Jefferson?"
"How do children become the kind of leaders they were?"
"Pre-school has to be entirely irrelevant."

I have a memory of making a brief comment to that effect, without mentioning the Founding Fathers. It settled the question of academics in pre-school for me, but what is interesting is how that discussion in my mind has stuck with me over the years and affected my expectations with elementary school. Whenever I would start to worry over whether Abby's teacher was helping her progress as fast as she was capable with reading, or whether Luke's teacher had an eye on his math skills, I would remember the Founding Fathers, and common sense and intuition would replace my brewing anxieties and frustrations.

The Founding Fathers lived a very long time ago. Our environment and our culture have changed dramatically, but human nature does not change. Principles of truth, knowledge, understanding and wisdom do not change. I did not know until recently what these men did for their education, but I was certain it was not what we are doing now. I was sure they were not propelled and pressured academically at such young ages. And yet these men had a wealth of knowledge and a sound understanding of truth and the ability to apply it that is rarely seen today. I think we would all blush at our ignorance trying to carry on a conversation with them. They were leaders and statesmen. They were men with chests! When their moment came, they knew what to do to change the course of the entire world for good.

These men were truly educated. They were wise. They had a specific mission to fulfill and they were specifically prepared for it. That is what I want for my children. It is what I hope for myself. It's easy to forget all of that in our scramble for degrees and careers and financial independence.

Fast forward to a couple of years ago and a phone call with my friend, Tina. I knew she was homeschooling, but I only knew a little about it. She began describing her method of education, which is based on a set of principles emphasizing classics over textbooks, mentors over professors, inspiration over compulsion, simplicity over complexity, quality over conformity, and structured time rather than content. It is a method of education that is propelled by the student's own curiosity rather than a set curriculum of required information and testing. I was particularly intrigued by the principle of inspiration and curiosity as the driving force in learning for children.

That made absolute sense to me.

When I recall my own grade school years, the only things I can repeat to you today are those facts and skills I still use in every day life, some information I absorbed from teachers who inspired me, and the knowledge and skills gained from projects I was allowed to do based on my own curiosity. To this day I can tell you all about the Loch Ness Monster, the country of Iphacles I created, my book of poetry, how to run a bread bakery for our class store.... Because these were things I got to choose to do and was curious about! Other than basic math and spelling, all the rest made a quick exit from my brain as soon as testing was completed.

We absorb and retain what is most interesting to us. And what is most needful. Particularly when we're young.

Tina went on to explain that when we allow learning to take place in this way, the student naturally develops a desire to study deeply and pursue more scholarly learning over time. Because he has a hunger for it. Learning has been a pleasure. And when the desire is there, the student learns, understand *and retains* exponentially more. What might take years in an elementary school setting is learned in a matter of weeks, or days, or even hours. And it grows from there.

When the education is based in classics, the student is inspired by the actual works of great thinkers, artists and individuals in history- ultimately to think independently, to create, to improve upon ideas and errors of the past, to preserve freedom, and especially to recognize his own unique mission in life and chart a course to fulfill it. All along the way there should be teachers, leaders and mentors to inspire the student to greatness.

It sounds so lofty and impractical in my pathetic attempt to outline it here. But it makes so much sense! Somewhere in my conversation with Tina, she mentioned the name of this method of education:

A Thomas Jefferson Education

I almost had to laugh. Sometimes God is so mysterious. And other times, he just lays it all out and tells you how it is. I am sure there was no coincidence in the thoughts I had about the Founding Fathers that day with those pre-school mothers. He was simply laying the foundation in my mind because I was asking the questions. And here I am years later, coming full circle to it.

There is so much more to this method than I can cover in this post, but you can read a little more about it Here

A Thomas Jefferson Education, or TJEd, was my jumping-off point with homeschooling, but over the past year, I have continued to explore the subject of education in an effort to understand how God wishes us to undertake it. I know, I know- I'm always bringing God into everything. I can't help it. I wish I could go into every detail of what I am learning, but I suppose it's an individual journey... I would probably just write in circles trying to explain myself. In short, I have found myself experiencing a paradigm shift that I didn't entirely expect. I am coming to see education in a new way- layer by layer, as I study about ideas and methods I hadn't taken the time to consider or question before. It is enlightening to open the door to a whole new realm of thought that is so relevant to my life and my future goals.

Basically, my approach to homeschooling right now uses the principles of TJEd as a base, with a particular emphasis on scripture studies. I feel strongly that the day to day details need to be a matter of trusting my own inspiration as to what Luke (and each of my other children) needs, following his own cues, and expecting that I will be led to the best resources. I know that sounds scary and vague, but it's not. If Nephi can build a ship, I can come up with the tools my children need to become truly educated. That has been confirmed to me. And it has already begun.

Fortunately, I have had some time to read, ponder, observe, pray and outline a plan for this first phase and to define an overall vision. I expect that I will grow into preparation for the next phase, because I haven't planned for that yet! I'm sure I will stumble and fall plenty of times along the way. But I'll dust myself off and keep going. I don't know every detail about everything, I just know what I need to do right now. Today.

And sometimes that's all it takes to move in the right direction.

Why in the World

would I want to homeschool my children?

Long Answer:

I never thought I would homeschool. It didn't really occur to me as an option. Probably because I wasn't looking for another option.

Knowing what I know now, I can see my desire to teach my children was born when Luke was. As he reached pre-school age, I realized how much I enjoyed seeing the world through his eyes; I was experiencing the wonder of life all over again- and in some ways for the very first time. We spent a lot of time outside. He was so curious about every little leaf and bug, and I found myself eager to satisfy his curiousity, and to spark even more fascination. One particular fall day on Dearborn Street, gathering leaves with Luke, I envisioned a time when he would be able to understand far more than his little mind could process at present, and I wanted to be there! I wanted to be a part of all those moments of Wonder and Wow.

Before I knew it, Luke was starting Kindergarten, and for the first time, I could sense time slipping away- time spent with him. As I look back on it, I find it interesting how willing I was to turn over my little boy, barely five years old, to someone else to teach and train. I will admit that because of his intense personality, I looked forward to school fueling some of the energy he requires. But at the same time, my heart was reluctant to let him go, and I so looked forward to seeing his face appear as he descended the steps of the school bus and ran into my arms each day at Noon.

The hugs, the hand-holding. The delightful smiles and conversations. The days when Mommy still reigns supreme. Why was I compliant to bring that to an end? Why was my heart silenced in the name of education? Well trained by culture and tradition to believe that a child must begin formal schooling at the tender age of five years old. That I must lay my heart's reluctance on the altar of academic progress.

As we pass from mother love to rational planning for the future, we are passing away from the realm of instinct into that of choice and reflection: and if instinct is the source of value, planning for the future ought to be less respectable and less obligatory... What is absurd is to claim that your care for posterity finds its justification in instinct and then flout at every turn the only instinct on which it could be supposed to rest, tearing the child almost from the breast to creche and kindergarten in the interests of progress..." [C.S Lewis, The Abolition of Man]

Interesting thought.

Fortunately, Luke's kindergarten was only half-day. He seemed to love it, but we needed that transition time. He would come home at lunch time and I could still have the rest of the afternoon with him. I could see how precious this time was, so I declared those afternoons: Lukey Days. Time to do whatever his little five year old heart desired- with Mommy. I tried to get the daily tasks done while he was at school so we could spend afternoons together- Luke, Abby and Me. I made it coincide with naptime for Miri so that my attention wasn't so divided. Picnics on the lawn, bike rides, playing games, reading, and countless hours wandering the forest path behind our home in Washington. Our memories in the forest are our favorite. Luke talks about them still. Abby Days and Miri Days have been just as memorable.

If for this reason alone, I am grateful for Kindergarten. I am grateful that it makes the clock tick louder for me so that I snatch the opportunity for these memories during such a sweet and fleeting time of life (one that feels endless and eternal the first time around.) Of course it isn't easy. I am constantly pulled in other directions. And some days, I give in to distraction or duty or fatigue, and send the kids off to play without me. But I hope I have resisted often enough.

Ironically, these kindergarten days have only given me a taste for more. More exploring, more play, more teaching, more training, more time. More of me- for them. Which is precisely what is so difficult to do. School requires a majority of their time, and the rest is quickly filled in with outside activities, friends and more school- in the form of homework. And that doesn't include my own daily tasks and projects, and the needs of the twins that can crowd out time with older ones. Mornings are a blur of getting everyone dressed, fed and out the door, and afternoons and evenings are only slightly less blurry-- but only because I don't feel I can put my children in any lessons right now. There isn't room for it. Not unless I want to sacrifice unstructured play time after a SEVEN HOUR school day with ONE RECESS. I'm not willing to give that ONE HOUR between school and dinner over to anything but running, jumping and playing to no drummer's beat but their own. And even then, it is not usually time spent with Mom. It is time spent being children.

Some of this is about the fact that I do not like to live a life of rushing and hurrying with full, tight schedules. I've been spoiled by twins. Having them forced me to surrender to a very slow, home-bound life for the past few years. It has been a blessing. I've come to love being at home, and found that a calm, careful life, free of unnecessary extras is important for me to be who I want to be and do what I truly want to do as a mother. As long as I can control that, I will.

But most of all, there just isn't enough time.

In those early days with Luke, the future seemed to hold plenty of time. But now I feel it slipping through my fingers faster and faster by the year. Like our Lukey-Days, homeschooling right now is my way of seizing the day of opportunity while it is still here. Before my children must naturally sever ties with home and seek further development, education and experience elsewhere. I'm not ready to turn them over to teachers, trainers, coaches and instructors for the majority of their days just yet. Despite what our culture promotes, I know they are not ready for it, either. I want to keep them as close to me as possible, to provide the foundation of values, character development, spirituality, recognition of truth, and skills in self reliance that I feel are so important for true success and happiness in life, but cannot fully be taught in a public school setting.

Although my views on education are changing, I will always have great respect for the wonderful school teachers of the world, of whom I know many. I am in awe of them- of the very life-blood that they give to their profession for the sake of our children. In my opinion, they deserve a free pass to heaven. I will always be grateful to them.

I know that homeschooling is not possible or desirable for everyone. I know that there are many ways to mother and raise children and there are many options for great education. In fact, the path may end up looking different for each person in our family. I think my desire to homeschool right now is as much about my own journey in life as it is about my children.

When I sent my children off to school this fall, I had a hollow feeling as I went about my daily routine. What was once a relief (getting things done alone), had become a less fulfilling series of motions to maintain our home and physical needs and to finally attend to myself, mentally, after so many years. It was so different from the deep soul satisfaction that came from having all of my children around me during the summer, when I had a plan to teach and train them. (Because we all know how it is without a plan!) I have had so many little ones around me for so long that this was my first experience recognizing such a contrast.

When that empty feeling crept in, a little voice came along with it and told me that in that moment I had a choice- to remember that feeling and do something about it soon, or to continue on my way, and let that quiet nudging from my heart become muffled, and ultimately silenced as I filled my days with the usual projects, commitments and pursuits that rush in and devour a mother's time- especially now that I no longer had all five children at home all day.

I chose to remember.

It's not that I feel adequate to home school. Its that my heart longs to be there for all of the wonderful learning moments of their childhood, and it longs for me to be the one who has the greatest influence in their lives. This is one way I can try to do that. I know that whether I feel it or not, I have the potential and capacity to teach, train and nurture my own children. I know that God will bless me to be equal to the task.

And again, I will put my trust in him. And again, Behold I and the children which God hath given me. [Hebrews 2:13]

I am excited at the prospect of devoting everything I am- all of my time, talents, blessings and efforts to an endeavor that could have such a powerful impact for good.

What continues to drive me in this decision is the desire I have to trust my heart and let instinct have its say. To recognize it's voice amidst all of the other voices of logic, reason, culture, tradition and fear that persist loudly as I chart the course of our family life--and in this case- our children's education.

One day last year, amidst lots of thought about homeschooling, I ran up to put something away in the girls' room and found this paper, obviously pulled from Luke's scrapbook, randomly taped to their wall:

(Kindergarten)

Short Answer:

I am following my heart.

All In Good Time

Deciding to homeschool, how to homeschool, who to homeschool and why in the world I want to homeschool has been a process over many years. Because there are so many factors involved, I've found it difficult to give simple, concise answers to questions I get from family and friends.

According to Albert Einstein:

If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough.

I hope that's not entirely true, since I usually think and feel so deeply that I can rarely explain myself simply in words. It's a challenge for me (hence the title of my blog). In the spirit of that challenge, I am going to write a few posts in an attempt to develop some simple, concise answers about my homeschooling decisions. What follows are not the simple, concise answers. I'm simply putting it all in words, first, in the hopes that maybe, perhaps, somehow I can come up with something simple to say in the end. I'm thinking....10 seconds or less? Wish me luck.

Let's begin with:

Why am I homeschooling Luke, but not Abby and Miri?

About two years ago, I started talking about homeschool with my children. Luke and Abby were very happy about the prospect, and I came close to beginning with them a year and a half ago. However, when the moment of decision came, I knew it was not the right time for a number of reasons. There were still too many uncertainties. I was disappointed. Luke and Abby were disappointed. I was sorry that I had led their hearts along in one direction only to make them do an about face- back to the classroom. They survived. And flourished. They've always loved school, and last year was no different. I stopped talking about homeschool and they stopped asking about it. I didn't want to bring it up again until I was sure that it was the right time.

This fall, I finally reached the point where I was absolutely sure that I wanted to homeschool my children. I prayed about that desire and my decision. But knowing how happy my children were in school, I knew that something had to change in order to bring them home. Their hearts had to turn back. I prayed for that. I prayed for each of my children. That when the time was right for them, they would want to come home.

The next day, out of the blue, Luke came to me and asked if he could be homeschooled. And he persisted. I knew he meant it. And I knew this was an answer to my prayers. When school got out for Christmas, it hit him that he would no longer be with all of his classmates and he felt sad and unsure. I suggested that he pray about it. Pray that if this was the right decision for him, he would be calm and happy. A day or so later he came to me and said: Mom! Guess What! I had a Christmas Miracle!!! I said a prayer about homeschool and I'm not sad anymore! I'm not nervous at all!" He quickly wrote it down in our Christmas Journal. He was misty-eyed when we went to say goodbye to his class and teacher this week, but still firm in his decision.

Abby and Miri have not yet had a change of heart.

Abby has such a wonderful teacher this year. The kind I want to hug and pronounce blessings to every time I see her. I am beyond pleased. I cannot tear her away from a teacher she adores, in a place where she is thriving. I am watching her and listening to her closely. Only a month or two ago, she was talking about all of the teachers she might get next year for 3rd grade. But just yesterday I heard her mention that she probably wouldn't be going back to school next fall. I have said nothing to encourage or discourage her in her feelings. I want her to be where she truly wants to be right now.

Miri is still elated with Kindergarten- though she plays around with the idea of homeschool. Both she and Abby enviously ask Luke about what he did for homeschool each day this week. Miri said yesterday: "Mom, after my class pajama party is over, I want to do homeschool." We'll see if she understands what she's really saying... She has such a cute kindergarten teacher (aren't all kindergarten teachers sweet?) I have mixed feelings about kindergarten- which I may or may not expand on later. Suffice it to say, so far it has been very good for Miri. She has the type of personality that has benefited by experiencing another society outside of home. And believe you me- I'm using that to my advantage- and hers.

I am confident that Abby and Miri will come around when they are ready.

All in Good Time

Ready, Set, HOMESCHOOL!

We did it. We officially withdrew Luke from school yesterday. What a surreal experience. I stood there in the school office and had this conversation with myself:

I am pulling my son out of school.

I can't believe how easy this is.

Should I be nervous?

I'm not nervous.

Should I be scared?

I'm not scared.

Should I be worried?

I'm not worried.

(Not today, anyway.)

Sign this paper here.
Make a quick call there.

That's it.

This is a pretty big deal.
I'm taking my son's education into my own hands.
Or,
I'm letting my son take his education into his own hands.
And I will guide him through it.

He's ready.
Luke has prayed his own way here.
He owns this decision.

And me?

It feels good.
It's the right thing.
Right now.
Not two years ago. Not last year. Not even last month.
But now.

Ready.....Set.......HOMESCHOOL!!

By Golly, She Did It.

Locked herself in the bathroom with Daddy's good scissors, and........

WENT TO TOWN.

The Evidence:



Busted:



Retreating to the closet:



We think she looks like a Rock Star.

Pat Benatar, anyone??

Luke's Colonial Feast

Have you ever wondered what would happen if we moved beyond frosted cupcakes and sugar cookies for classroom parties?? This year, Luke's teacher stepped waaay out of the box and held a Christmas Dinner-- Colonial Virginia style. What a perfectly grand idea- don't you think?! I thought I'd post about it before Christmas is long over. Their class has been studying Virginia history and geography for several months- culminating in a recent field trip to Jamestown and Yorktown. This dinner was a wonderful way for them to step back in time and get a small taste of what they have been learning.



Many of the students came to school in costume. They began their day ringing in Christmas- colonial style: banging pots and pans, cheering, yelling-- and then they exchanged simple Christmas gifts- colonial style. For their feast, they sat around a very long table and began with an introduction to George Washington's Rules of Civility. To improve table manners, of course!

Then dinner was served. Family Style. But not the way you might imagine it. Instead of passing the food, they passed their plates around the table, and each person dished up a serving of the food in front of them for every plate, one by one, until the plates returned to their owners.


And then they ate-- with only their knives.
And a spoon to help.

What was on the menu?

Ham biscuits
Sausage gravy
Mashed Turnips
Spiced Apples
Creamed Sweet Peas
Roasted Carrots
Crab Cakes
Hot Cider

Apple Pie
Peach Cobbler
and the most amazing Raspberry Tart I've ever tased...
among other things.

And it didn't all end with the dinner. The rest of the day was spent in even more colonial style activities.

No sirree. This was not your standard sugary, frosted class Christmas party.

This was an experience.

Bravo Mrs. Frye!