Over Labor Day Weekend.
A little bit crazy...
And a whole lotta fun:
My sister Carolyn and her family:
The whole crew (except photog. me):
Toes in the sand.
Summer's finest farewell.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Summer School and Traffic Cops
While the rest of the world was gearing up to let loose this summer, I was gearing up to homeschool. I fully appreciated that it was summer, and that with summer come all kinds of happy diversions. This wasn't your neighbor's homeschool-- no workbooks, no formal math or science or geography. Our homeschool wasn't about academics.
My goal was simply to have a plan. With a purpose.
Not a Survival Plan. Not a To Do List.
A Teaching Plan!
I'm certain every other mother in the world has a plan like this, but I have to call it "homeschool" in order to make sure it happens consistently!! See- you're far better than I am. I already know that.
The appeal of homeschool to me is not a reaction to the public school system. I've always intended on sending my kids to public school. I may or may not agree with everything about the system, but my experience so far has not been a negative one. Maybe it's because I've never expected public schools to teach my children everything they should know. If I did, then I would probably be very disappointed. Instead, I feel that a good portion of the responsibility for my children's education right now falls upon me, as their mother, whether or not they actually attend school. My challenge is to figure out what I need to teach them, and how, and when. So, the real problem for me is this:
There is simply NOT enough time in the day to teach them what I feel they need to know.
From me.
Like any mother, I take the responsibility to teach and train my children very seriously. Unlike most mothers, I can't figure out how to do it all in just a few short hours a day! I feel like most of that time I'm just directing traffic! How is it that mothers have been reduced to being Traffic Cops??
There are moments interspersed in all the busy-ness where teaching comes in, I'm just not sure it's enough right now. I feel like I'm staring a huge opportunity right in the face with my role as their mother.
What to do, what to do...
Homeschool?
Maybe. Obviously I sent them to school, again, this year. Even sent little Miri off to Kindergarten (she just glows with joy and triumph getting on and off that bus.) They're all very happy with it. I'm the one who feels pointless.
Our summer was filled with all of the usual favorites: vacations, cousins, etc. What differed was our routine on "normal" days. In the past, summer was about keeping my kids entertained. This summer, I tried to turn our quieter days into something more. So we had a schedule... It wasn't a detailed schedule, but it gave us all a clear vision and expectation for the rhythm of our regular days. Included in the daily schedule were personal chores, family work projects, scripture studies & value lessons, meals (prep and clean up), and free time (which might involve reading, skill-building classes (taught by yours truly), time spent outdoors, grocery shopping, swimming, field trips, or playing with friends.)
I really enjoyed *trying* to play this out every day. I wasn't perfect at it, but after two years of days dictated by the twins, I was easily pleased by what did work. Mostly, I wanted to make sure we were doing everything together- as much as possible. Working, playing, reading, cooking, cleaning. I tried to turn everything we need to do at home into an opportunity to teach them something of value. In order to do that, I really had to prepare myself mentally-- I had to train my mind to want to involve at least one, if not all of my children in every single thing I do for our home and family, whenever possible- and to have a higher purpose for it.
The interesting thing about all of this is how much I enjoyed it. And I think the kids did, too. I feel like I stumbled upon some grand secret about the joy in motherhood. Which is why I feel so point-less this week. They aren't here. I no longer need to have that kind of purpose and plan for what I do during the day. I feel the lack. I miss the peace and order and spirit it brought to our home. I miss the feeling of fulfillment at the end of the day.
Of course the twins still need me- they keep me hopping, and they sure love "helping" me around the house now. ;) I enjoy toddlers so much more now than I did the first time around. And Kate and Caroline are just so darn cute! But, I do feel like I've gone backwards this week. My wheels keep turning, but they can't touch ground...
See- I told you this was not your neighbor's homeschool. Academics have a time and place. I am not concerned with changing or adding to what they are presently learning in school, except where I sense true interest and motivation. Right now, I'm more interested in helping my children build Christlike character; in teaching them values that will serve them well through life, and hopefully lay a solid foundation for a true education. This was just an initiation to it all- Summer Style.
I may or may not ever homeschool all of my children full time. I'm taking things a day at a time in that arena. What my pre-occupation with homeschooling has done for me is help me define a specific vision for my family, identify my purpose as a mother in teaching my children, and create a working, day to day plan towards that vision and purpose. I needed that.
I will always need that.
My goal was simply to have a plan. With a purpose.
Not a Survival Plan. Not a To Do List.
A Teaching Plan!
I'm certain every other mother in the world has a plan like this, but I have to call it "homeschool" in order to make sure it happens consistently!! See- you're far better than I am. I already know that.
The appeal of homeschool to me is not a reaction to the public school system. I've always intended on sending my kids to public school. I may or may not agree with everything about the system, but my experience so far has not been a negative one. Maybe it's because I've never expected public schools to teach my children everything they should know. If I did, then I would probably be very disappointed. Instead, I feel that a good portion of the responsibility for my children's education right now falls upon me, as their mother, whether or not they actually attend school. My challenge is to figure out what I need to teach them, and how, and when. So, the real problem for me is this:
There is simply NOT enough time in the day to teach them what I feel they need to know.
From me.
Like any mother, I take the responsibility to teach and train my children very seriously. Unlike most mothers, I can't figure out how to do it all in just a few short hours a day! I feel like most of that time I'm just directing traffic! How is it that mothers have been reduced to being Traffic Cops??
There are moments interspersed in all the busy-ness where teaching comes in, I'm just not sure it's enough right now. I feel like I'm staring a huge opportunity right in the face with my role as their mother.
What to do, what to do...
Homeschool?
Maybe. Obviously I sent them to school, again, this year. Even sent little Miri off to Kindergarten (she just glows with joy and triumph getting on and off that bus.) They're all very happy with it. I'm the one who feels pointless.
Our summer was filled with all of the usual favorites: vacations, cousins, etc. What differed was our routine on "normal" days. In the past, summer was about keeping my kids entertained. This summer, I tried to turn our quieter days into something more. So we had a schedule... It wasn't a detailed schedule, but it gave us all a clear vision and expectation for the rhythm of our regular days. Included in the daily schedule were personal chores, family work projects, scripture studies & value lessons, meals (prep and clean up), and free time (which might involve reading, skill-building classes (taught by yours truly), time spent outdoors, grocery shopping, swimming, field trips, or playing with friends.)
I really enjoyed *trying* to play this out every day. I wasn't perfect at it, but after two years of days dictated by the twins, I was easily pleased by what did work. Mostly, I wanted to make sure we were doing everything together- as much as possible. Working, playing, reading, cooking, cleaning. I tried to turn everything we need to do at home into an opportunity to teach them something of value. In order to do that, I really had to prepare myself mentally-- I had to train my mind to want to involve at least one, if not all of my children in every single thing I do for our home and family, whenever possible- and to have a higher purpose for it.
The interesting thing about all of this is how much I enjoyed it. And I think the kids did, too. I feel like I stumbled upon some grand secret about the joy in motherhood. Which is why I feel so point-less this week. They aren't here. I no longer need to have that kind of purpose and plan for what I do during the day. I feel the lack. I miss the peace and order and spirit it brought to our home. I miss the feeling of fulfillment at the end of the day.
Of course the twins still need me- they keep me hopping, and they sure love "helping" me around the house now. ;) I enjoy toddlers so much more now than I did the first time around. And Kate and Caroline are just so darn cute! But, I do feel like I've gone backwards this week. My wheels keep turning, but they can't touch ground...
See- I told you this was not your neighbor's homeschool. Academics have a time and place. I am not concerned with changing or adding to what they are presently learning in school, except where I sense true interest and motivation. Right now, I'm more interested in helping my children build Christlike character; in teaching them values that will serve them well through life, and hopefully lay a solid foundation for a true education. This was just an initiation to it all- Summer Style.
I may or may not ever homeschool all of my children full time. I'm taking things a day at a time in that arena. What my pre-occupation with homeschooling has done for me is help me define a specific vision for my family, identify my purpose as a mother in teaching my children, and create a working, day to day plan towards that vision and purpose. I needed that.
I will always need that.
One of our Kitchen Classes on measurements (with friends.)
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
I'm a Closet Homeschooler
Today is the first day of school for my 3 older children.
This is the first year that I'll have more children in school than I do at home. It's a strange feeling.
I don't like it.
I'm supposed to love it. Relish it. Feel the freedom of less after being so consumed with more. I'm supposed to feel relieved.
Instead, I'm feeling....pointless.
It's a familiar feeling. I had to dig back into myself this morning to figure out when I've felt this feeling before, and I remembered: it's the same feeling I had right after returning from a mission- Wondering what in the world I was supposed to do with myself after losing myself. Why would I want to go backwards? That's how I feel right now. Today.
I'm a closet homeschooler. Or, rather, I'm a homeschooler at heart. I read homeschooling books. I stalk homeschoolers' blogs. I think about it all the time. If you had asked me two years ago if I would ever homeschool, I would've given you a smile and a look that said "Are You Kidding?!" Of course, at the time, I had a very different view of homeschooling. All that changed when a long-distance friend of mine "accidentally" called me and we ended up talking all about her homeschooling experience. She teaches her children based on A Thomas Jefferson Education. It's a set of principles rather than a curriculum. What I heard intrigued me. I immediately ordered the introductory books, dove in, and was inspired. The outlined principles at last gave structure and form to thoughts and feelings I've had about teaching my children ever since Luke was very small. All of a sudden, homeschooling seemed possible. It seemed enjoyable (!!) It seemed to be just what I've always wanted for my children, and for our family. I just hadn't ever imagined it in quite this way.
When I read these books, the twins were newborn, I was nursing day and night, caring for 5 under 7 while Creighton traveled non-stop. I could not move forward with homeschooling plans. But I could think, and I could read some. And I could plan. So that's what I did. And I implemented where I could.
...Insert all the chaos of selling a home, moving cross-country and settling in...
Last fall, with grand (unrealistic) aspirations, as usual, I intended to embark on our homeschooling adventure. But when the moment of decision came, I knew it wasn't the right time. I was actually disappointed (!!), but gradually came to see the wisdom of it. I didn't realize how exhausted my body was after the physical and emotional intensity of the previous two years. I had to give it time to rest and catch up to my mind; I was literally getting ahead of myself (I'm really really good at that.) Not to mention I had two little Godzillas and a 4 year old middle child who needed me desperately. It was better for Luke and Abby to be in school.
But I implemented some more, where I could. And I thought. And I planned.
I was gearing up for summer...
(To be continued, I hope)
This is the first year that I'll have more children in school than I do at home. It's a strange feeling.
I don't like it.
I'm supposed to love it. Relish it. Feel the freedom of less after being so consumed with more. I'm supposed to feel relieved.
Instead, I'm feeling....pointless.
It's a familiar feeling. I had to dig back into myself this morning to figure out when I've felt this feeling before, and I remembered: it's the same feeling I had right after returning from a mission- Wondering what in the world I was supposed to do with myself after losing myself. Why would I want to go backwards? That's how I feel right now. Today.
I'm a closet homeschooler. Or, rather, I'm a homeschooler at heart. I read homeschooling books. I stalk homeschoolers' blogs. I think about it all the time. If you had asked me two years ago if I would ever homeschool, I would've given you a smile and a look that said "Are You Kidding?!" Of course, at the time, I had a very different view of homeschooling. All that changed when a long-distance friend of mine "accidentally" called me and we ended up talking all about her homeschooling experience. She teaches her children based on A Thomas Jefferson Education. It's a set of principles rather than a curriculum. What I heard intrigued me. I immediately ordered the introductory books, dove in, and was inspired. The outlined principles at last gave structure and form to thoughts and feelings I've had about teaching my children ever since Luke was very small. All of a sudden, homeschooling seemed possible. It seemed enjoyable (!!) It seemed to be just what I've always wanted for my children, and for our family. I just hadn't ever imagined it in quite this way.
When I read these books, the twins were newborn, I was nursing day and night, caring for 5 under 7 while Creighton traveled non-stop. I could not move forward with homeschooling plans. But I could think, and I could read some. And I could plan. So that's what I did. And I implemented where I could.
...Insert all the chaos of selling a home, moving cross-country and settling in...
Last fall, with grand (unrealistic) aspirations, as usual, I intended to embark on our homeschooling adventure. But when the moment of decision came, I knew it wasn't the right time. I was actually disappointed (!!), but gradually came to see the wisdom of it. I didn't realize how exhausted my body was after the physical and emotional intensity of the previous two years. I had to give it time to rest and catch up to my mind; I was literally getting ahead of myself (I'm really really good at that.) Not to mention I had two little Godzillas and a 4 year old middle child who needed me desperately. It was better for Luke and Abby to be in school.
But I implemented some more, where I could. And I thought. And I planned.
I was gearing up for summer...
(To be continued, I hope)
Monday, September 6, 2010
Goodbye 8, Hello 9...
Luke turned 9 at the end of August. I feel like I was just posting about his baptism the other day, and now, here we are a full year later-- moving on, moving up! We celebrated with Chinese buffet and miniature golf, and Luke ended up with a fistful of cash from family and friends that's he's trying to figure out how to spend now.
I feel myself slipping into pre-panic mode about how fast my children really are growing up. Everyone says it happens, but it's hard to believe until...well, until right about now! Yikes. I said it last year, but I really mean it now- Luke's not a little boy any more. He really took that "big boy" stuff to heart and grew right into it this year.
Luke and I had a conversation this morning about home rules and responsibility and what would happen if we didn't have any (carrying on from a lesson we had the other day.) I suggested we go for a day or two without any rules and see what happens. Oh boy, did he love that! I snickered and sneered at the thought of him starving and wallowing in a mess of dirty dishes and dirty laundry as I took the day off myself ...until I realized that not much would really change for Luke. In fact, the whole thing would probably backfire on me! Luke is just plain independent. And responsible. And conscientious.
I realized today that if I stopped functioning in my role, he would probably be just fine.
I'm not sure how I feel about this.
And I don't take credit.
And No, Luke's not perfect.
But he IS a good boy, and I am lucky to be his Mom, even if he doesn't need me. And...
Here are a few highlights from this past year:
In November, Luke received the first-ever "Mr. DeGaetani Award" at his school. The award was named after his retiring principal, and created to honor students who exemplify the Core Values of "respect, responsibility, honesty, service, leadership and good citizenship." I have been so impressed with the emphasis our kids' school has placed on these values, and was so happy when Luke was chosen for this award. They made such a big deal out of it at the assembly that none of us were quite prepared for it (I didn't have a camera.) But the school did take a picture of the moment and has it posted in the hall.
In February, Luke was selected to take a test to determine if he should be placed in our district's Gifted Program. Candidacy for this program is not based on academic achievement (grades), but on the student's ability to apply what he is learning in complex and thoughtful ways. It's a program that nurtures independent thinking. I was curious to see how he would do. When we got the test scores back, the results were not straight-forward. There were a number of different scores and tables. I did my best to calculate his overall score and thought that perhaps he had barely made the 98th percentile overall (required for passing), but I wasn't sure, so we called the school counselor. "BARELY PASSED??!" she said, "NOOO-- Luke is highly gifted!"
Wow. Okay.
We're looking forward to seeing how Luke enjoys this program. He had a great year at school this past year- his 5th school in 4 years (gulp) He makes friends so easily, and adapts well to change- thank heavens. At the end of the year, all of the 3rd graders put on a "Living Museum." Luke dressed up as a man from Ancient Mali and stood ready to present a brief dialogue on the history of Mali after pressing a button on his hand. I was so impressed with how serious and articulate he was with his performance- it made me smile.
Luke's not all seriousness, though. He definitely lets loose at home.
The other night was Luke's Back-to-School night. I asked Creighton if he would like to go with Luke, since I had gone with the girls to their orientations and I know how much Luke loves spending time with his Daddy. Luke was there and immediately looked at me with concerned eyes. "Well...," he said "actually, Dad, I really want Mommy to go with me. It's just.....well....is that okay?"
We both laughed, and my heart smiled.
Maybe he does still need me for some things.
Happy Birthday Big Boy.
I feel myself slipping into pre-panic mode about how fast my children really are growing up. Everyone says it happens, but it's hard to believe until...well, until right about now! Yikes. I said it last year, but I really mean it now- Luke's not a little boy any more. He really took that "big boy" stuff to heart and grew right into it this year.
Luke and I had a conversation this morning about home rules and responsibility and what would happen if we didn't have any (carrying on from a lesson we had the other day.) I suggested we go for a day or two without any rules and see what happens. Oh boy, did he love that! I snickered and sneered at the thought of him starving and wallowing in a mess of dirty dishes and dirty laundry as I took the day off myself ...until I realized that not much would really change for Luke. In fact, the whole thing would probably backfire on me! Luke is just plain independent. And responsible. And conscientious.
I realized today that if I stopped functioning in my role, he would probably be just fine.
I'm not sure how I feel about this.
And I don't take credit.
And No, Luke's not perfect.
But he IS a good boy, and I am lucky to be his Mom, even if he doesn't need me. And...
It's his birthday.
Here are a few highlights from this past year:
In November, Luke received the first-ever "Mr. DeGaetani Award" at his school. The award was named after his retiring principal, and created to honor students who exemplify the Core Values of "respect, responsibility, honesty, service, leadership and good citizenship." I have been so impressed with the emphasis our kids' school has placed on these values, and was so happy when Luke was chosen for this award. They made such a big deal out of it at the assembly that none of us were quite prepared for it (I didn't have a camera.) But the school did take a picture of the moment and has it posted in the hall.
In February, Luke was selected to take a test to determine if he should be placed in our district's Gifted Program. Candidacy for this program is not based on academic achievement (grades), but on the student's ability to apply what he is learning in complex and thoughtful ways. It's a program that nurtures independent thinking. I was curious to see how he would do. When we got the test scores back, the results were not straight-forward. There were a number of different scores and tables. I did my best to calculate his overall score and thought that perhaps he had barely made the 98th percentile overall (required for passing), but I wasn't sure, so we called the school counselor. "BARELY PASSED??!" she said, "NOOO-- Luke is highly gifted!"
Wow. Okay.
We're looking forward to seeing how Luke enjoys this program. He had a great year at school this past year- his 5th school in 4 years (gulp) He makes friends so easily, and adapts well to change- thank heavens. At the end of the year, all of the 3rd graders put on a "Living Museum." Luke dressed up as a man from Ancient Mali and stood ready to present a brief dialogue on the history of Mali after pressing a button on his hand. I was so impressed with how serious and articulate he was with his performance- it made me smile.
Luke's not all seriousness, though. He definitely lets loose at home.
Goof-Ball.
The other night was Luke's Back-to-School night. I asked Creighton if he would like to go with Luke, since I had gone with the girls to their orientations and I know how much Luke loves spending time with his Daddy. Luke was there and immediately looked at me with concerned eyes. "Well...," he said "actually, Dad, I really want Mommy to go with me. It's just.....well....is that okay?"
We both laughed, and my heart smiled.
Maybe he does still need me for some things.
Happy Birthday Big Boy.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Guess Who Else Is a "She!"
Wisdom.
13Happy is the man that findeth wisdom, and the man that getteth understanding...
15She is more precious than rubies: and all the things thou canst desire are not to be compared unto her...
17Her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace.
18She is a tree of life to them that lay hold upon her: and happy is every one that retaineth her. [Proverbs 3:13-18]
Good to know. Because one thing I would love to become,
is a wise woman.
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