For Grandma and Grandpa

Hammond AND Bennett! =)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!  We miss you!

A Glimpse of Christmas 2010

I am No Superwoman

My good man's been traveling.
A lot. 

It never gets easier.
I don't feel stronger.


I hold my breath
And pray.


But he's home...
Home today.

Home for the holidays.

Can I breathe now?
Can I wilt?
Crumple to the floor?

I am no Superwoman.

Snow Days

Apparently, having snow here two years in a row is akin to lightening striking the same man twice...

So we made the most of it!!

 

 

 

If I Ever Had a Question About Santa Claus...

and apparently I did for about 30 minutes (as documented in this very blog), that question has been  wonder-fully settled by my little girls this season. These little girls- who at two years old know nothing but what they experience first hand- who react purely and simply from their very hearts to the world around them--squeal with utter delight at the sight of Santa Claus as we drive around town.  It  sends me into amazed fits of laughter every time!  Something about both of them squealing together, I suppose.  The shared joy.  Unrestrained shrieks of glee!  Incessant, until Mommy has acknowledged that "Yes," indeed, "There's Santa!" (And snowmen, and reindeer, and Christmas trees...)

And then, low and behold, this big red fellow with a beard appeared at our ward Christmas party.  Oh boy, did their eyes get big and their voices soft.  There he was.  The man himself.  Kate was with me and settled for a candy cane out of line, but Caroline made it into his lap  When Santa inquired what she desired most, she whispered, almost inaudibly:

"Prezet."

And since that night, she occasionally comes up to me share her sweet memory:

"Sit Santa lap," she says with a whisper and a smile. 

That settles it.

Just when I thought I was dreaming...

My little girlies figured out how to open the fridge this weekend.

What do your two year olds do when they open the fridge?

Multiply that by 2.

A Christmas Miracle!

I knew that title would draw you in.  Actually, this miracle occurred in October, not December, but it's still a  miracle--  at least a developmental miracle.  Are you ready??.....

My twins started playing together.

YES!  They did!!  Just when they stopped taking naps, and I thought I was doomed (because naptime is God's gift to Mothers).  All of a sudden.....really, out of the blue.....they crawled out of my lap and down from my arms, where one or both have spent the past two and a half years, and..... strolled away together- hand in hand. Of course they didn't go anywhere, they're still here, but they're romping around having the time of their lives with eachother!

It's amazing!  Not just having my arms free for a good chunk of the day, but seeing them enjoy each other so much.

At first I thought it was a fluke- a quickly passing thing.  And I ran around like a mad-woman tackling a list that has been growing in my head for years- unable to do anything about it.  That was October: Cleaning out dozens of storage bins (and the garage at the same time,) going through decades of paperwork- sorting, re-filing, TRASHING,  thinning out our school room shelves, hanging pictures that have been collecting dust on the floor for a year, implementing the rest of my organizational system at my desk (which is really to keep my brain organized).  Calculating inventory, re-stocking and re-organizing food storage, and half a dozen other BIG things that require mental focus and two arms.  Both of which I have lacked for a very long time.

And it feels good.

And then I went to Midway, and re-charged another part of me that was wrung out and limp.

And then came Thanksgiving.  For two weeks I prepared for, hosted, and recovered from 16 people staying in our home.  And it was lovely.  Except I'm not a good entertainer.  I'm just not.

And now, here I am this week.  And the twins are still playing together!!!  Mostly.  And only leaving a path of utter destruction every other day, instead of several times a day!  And I've realized that this is no passing thing.  The fog is lifting.  If you're ever expecting twins, you'll hear all about the fog.  "It lasts until they're about two," they all said. "Just be prepared for it.  Life will be one big foggy blur."  And so it has been- in many ways.  Until suddenly.....dissipation.


After tackling so many To Dos the past two months, and since recovering from Thanksgiving, I have had no desire to scurry about the past few days.  I'm taking this week for what it is:  A pause. Time to relax and let life simmer...before the next phase begins.  I know too well that's what happens.  I've seen it before in my life:  a brief time to restore, regroup, replenish, rejuvenate.  Time to prepare for what comes next.

I'm feeling especially thoughtful.  Too thoughtful to read. Instead I'm writing. When I can.  Until I can't.  Such as....right now--with two little girls crawling all over me!

It must be time for hugs.

The Christmas Journal

I've discovered my new favorite Christmas Tradition.



Over the past couple of years, I've started noticing all of the little miracles in my life- probably because I've never been so desperate for them!  Living in survival mode will do that to you.  Occasionally, at dinner time, I'll share with the kids what I sometimes call "Hellos from Heaven."

Some people call these "Tender Mercies," but I just can't do it.  It makes me think of chicken tenders...

Instead, I'll say "I had a Hello from Heaven today!"  And then tell them about some small coincidence or blessing or true miracle that occurred that day.




After doing this a few times, Luke and Abby caught on, and pretty soon, they would come to the table excited to share a little "Hello" they received during the day. 

Just a little something that let them know God was there and aware of them.  A smile.  A nod.  A wink.  From Heaven.




Of course we don't do this often enough, so I had an idea....





What if- every evening, throughout the month of December, we make it a point to talk about all of the great things that happen- every single day.  A coincidence.  A blessing.  A kindness.  Even a miracle.




Of course, I can't completely take credit for this idea- (I believe that belongs to a certain apostle), but
several nights ago, we found an empty notebook and began our Christmas Journal.  In the evening, after reading our advent scripture, and adding hay to our manger for good deeds and kind words done during the day (our gifts to Jesus), we open our notebook and everyone gets a chance to write down some happy thing that happened during the day (Jesus' gifts to us.)  My children LOVE this!  So do I!  It's so much fun to talk about the ways Heavenly Father and Jesus bless us in seemingly small, everyday ways.  And BIG ways too!







 I am excited to see how it works for us this Christmas.  And I'm already imagining this for every Christmas from now on.

Caught in the Act!

You'll Never Guess

what Craig and the kids watched tonight while I was at our Relief Society Christmas dinner.....

Are you ready for this?...

HOLIDAY MOVIES.

Yes, that's plural.  Frosty, Rudolph...pretty much the whole gang. (And all without me- doggon-it!)

Looks like someone forgot to hide them away when all the decorations came out the other day.

Looks like someone forgot to talk this over with a certain other someone who also runs this family.

Hmm...who could this someone be???  Any guesses?

We had a good laugh about it all tonight. We actually laughed a lot. About all of our good intentions gone awry.

Here's the thing.  I am fueled by idealistic thoughts.  That's just how I operate.  But when it comes down to it, my life is real.  I am real.  I aim for the stars so I can hit the moon.  And I am usually pleased just to achieve lift-off these days!  Someday I'll write all about that.  Someday...

I Have a Little Story

And I only have 30 minutes to tell it.  Here goes:

I've been reading Hugh Nibley lately.  He's messing with my mind.  I love digging deep and exploring new layers of thought on old principles.  If you've ever read Nibley, you know that he has a knack for this.  I'm not even going to attempt to summarize anything I've read, since my brain is still part mush from so many years of toddler-speak, but I will say this:  I'm learning to see life from a different perspective.  And it makes me want to do something about it. 

So I decided to pick one little area of my life and try an experiment of faith.  I wanted to change my perspective on the "things" I have and the "things" I need or want.  To stop thinking in terms of how much money I need, or how much money something is worth, and start seeing everything as a literal gift from God, regardless of how it came into my life or will come into my life.  I've always felt this way about the big things.  For instance, our home:  definite gift from God.  But not always the smaller things.  I had a list of things I needed/wanted for my home, and a list of things I planned to sell in order to provide the money for the former.  But once I saw all of these smaller things as gifts from God, I decided that maybe I didn't need to sell the gifts I no longer needed. 

Are you with me?

If they are gifts, I ought to do what God would want me to do with them- I ought to pass those gifts along to someone else.  So, rather than go through the hassle of listing said items to sell, all the while focusing on money spent, money gained, money, money, money.  I decided to give it all away.  Give the gifts God gave me to someone else to use and enjoy.  In letting go of my financial grip, my heart was free to feel the joy of freely spreading God's gifts and making many different people as happy as I was. 

But I didn't leave this open-ended.  I started my faith experiment with an end result in mind.  I decided that if I freely gave away the gifts that were given to me, then surely God would send my way those things I needed and wanted for my home.  My list included:

• An upright freezer for the garage
• A refrigerator for the garage
• A tailor-made sofa slipcover
• A tailor-made armchair slipcover
• A piano.

That last one is a biggie, I  know. Especially because I had a certain kind in mind. The tough part about my list is that I'm very picky when it comes to home furnishings.  One might argue that I ought not have such specific tastes.  But I would say that I have too many stories about how God has sent my way the specific things I've needed and wanted over the years, so I'm pretty sure he doesn't mind if we have preferences.  It's a way of expressing ourselves and enjoying the variety of creation. 

So, that was my list.  And I sent it up to heaven with my thoughts. 

And over the past two weeks, every single one of those things, including the very PIANO has landed in my lap either free, or for a small fraction of the expected cost- which we could certainly afford with the money God has already gifted us to meet our needs.


Isn't that  a great story?  I thought so.  I could expand it and tell you about every single item and how miraculous it all was, but I'll just leave it at this simple little something for now.

My time is up.

p.s.  I have a nice chest freezer God gave us that we no longer need.  Anyone looking for a freezer?

A Midway Sort of Mood

This month, I spent three days with four of the best women on the planet. Four years ago, we started this annual getaway as couples in San Francisco. A fabulous trip. And when none of the ladies could shut their traps, we decided the next trip needed to be a girls getaway. We went to Napa, and we still couldn't stop talking! So much so, that the only time we left our cozy carriage house was to get food...and hunt down a Target. In Napa! That was the end of exotic destinations. We wised up and chose a more convenient, and thoroughly peaceful spot:

Midway, Utah.

Yep. I flew cross-country for these girls. Skipped my 20th High School Reunion so I could make this trip. Strangely, I wasn't particularly feeling any need to get away, but the minute I stepped out of the airport into the dry mountain air, I breathed a deep breath and remembered that no matter how in love I am with the East, I am forever a Western girl. And when my wonderful friend Colleen drove up, I realized how much I needed this trip- without even knowing it.

I've been so consumed with my little world. So occupied with my own family. So content with Craig playing the role of my best boyfriend AND my best girlfriend-- that I forgot how much I need the friendship of amazing women. My favorite thing to do in their company is to just sit back and listen. And LAUGH! For almost three full days, well into the wee hours of the morning, we unloaded a year's worth of....everything! You name it, we covered it.

My mind has had so much to munch on since leaving Utah. I find myself getting lost in thought here and there, turning over the little pearls of wisdom I gathered from our feast of conversation. And remembering why these women have continued to inspire me throughout a decade.

I do believe I'm still... in a Midway sort of mood.

The Heart of the Matter

Is it possible to agree with everyone's views on Santa? Because I do.

Yesterday, for fun, I summarized my posts and the comments made to Creighton to see what he thought. As I was blabbing away, relaying my thoughts, I realized how cerebral it all was. I'm simply putting myself through a regular exercise of stepping away from tradition to re-examine whether or not it's working for our family and our ultimate goals. After I finished my deposition on Santa, I turned to Creighton for his response. True to his simple self, he paused and said:

"I like Santa."

It made me smile. Because I like Santa too. And I decided it was time to get back to the heart of the matter.

As a child, Santa represented everything wonderful in life- a loving, fatherly figure secretly presenting me with gifts. I could say he was one of my first experiences with heaven. After all- do we not all long to return to our kind and loving Father in Heaven and his Son, who presents us with the greatest gifts of all? I love my memories of Santa, and the feelings I associated with him. Later in life, I discovered the real, overflowing source of kindness, safety and love. I could credit the symbol of Santa, in part, for helping me recognize the innate longing to have those feelings in me always. And to seek them out until I found and recognized the true source.

Symbols only have as much meaning as we attach to them. I'm sure God is pleased when we do what we can with the traditions of our various cultures to turn them into things that are virtuous, and lovely, and even praiseworthy, regardless of their origins.

That is the heart of the matter.

Of course, ultimately, Christmas has little to do with Santa or nativities, or any of the symbols we surround ourselves with at this time of the year. It is ultimately a condition of the heart.

The real Christmas comes to him who has taken Christ into his life as a moving, dynamic, vitalizing force. The real spirit of Christmas lies in the life and mission of the Master...“It is a desire to sacrifice for others, to render service, and to possess a feeling of universal brotherhood. It consists of a willingness to forget what you have done for others, and to remember only what others have done for you; to ignore what the world owes you, and look about you for a place to sow a few seeds of happiness and go your way unobserved”

If each day dawns in opportunity and sets in achievement, however small—
then every day is Christ’s day and Christmas is always near.

--The Real Christmas, President Howard W. Hunter

p.s. I want you to know that my twins dumped 3 boxes of cereal throughout my house while I was writing this post. And stripped down to their tights. And my laundry's still sitting here in piles. And I should really be at the grocery store right now... And that is what I get for trying to write when I'm actually coherant!

And What About Santa Claus?

Thank you for all of the suggestions!  We did the manger for baby Jesus years ago, Karen, but my children were too young, and I put the idea away for awhile.  It would be perfect now!  Same thing with the daily scriptures, Emma Lee.  That would be a great thing to do again, too- in our advent calendar.

I'm well on my way to finding some child-proof nativities.  And, yes, I would be interested in learning how to make the wooden ones, too.  I think the Fisher Price nativity might be perfect for the twins.  There's another cute one for Miri at Deseret Book.  And Amazon.com has thousands, of course, but I sorted by lowest price and found a good one for Abby.  I might see if Luke would like to make his own.  Did I mention we'll be pulling him out for homeschool any day now? (Surprise!)

Thanks for the link to your post about last Christmas, Ashley.   I do remember that talk, and it has stuck with me all year.  I actually talked to my Mom about it this past weekend, hoping to coerce my siblings into doing the same thing for cousin and family gifts.  Here's the link, for anyone interested in a service-oriented idea for extended family exchanges:  http://gatesservice.blogspot.com/2009/12/history-of-gates-family-season-of.html

And funny you should mention Heifer International, Sally.  I've had their brochure on my desk for the past few months.  I've refused to file it away, to make sure I don't forget about it.  I love the concept, and have been trying to figure out how we should approach it with our children (or if I should incorporate it into plans with extended family.)  I really really like your idea of the kids having an "extras" chore chart and earning their own money to donate.  That goes right along with my hopes of having them truly feel the giving on a deeper level this year.  If anyone else is interested in learning more about this program, check out www.heifer.org .

I've ventured a little further in my thoughts on holidays versus Holy Days, such as:

What's to be done with Santa Claus?

We rarely watch TV, but I'm a sucker for old holiday movies.  They conjure up all kinds of nostalgic, magical feelings from my childhood Christmases, and most of them deal with Santa Claus on some level, but I'm thinking....perhaps this year I'll avoid bringing those movies out .  (Do I dare do that??)   And perhaps this year...the BIG holiday movie night will not be Polar Express, but will be this movie:





I love this movie.  For me, it captures the humility of Mary and Joseph, and the scriptural story of the nativity so beautifully.  It left me in tears.

Does it have to be one or the other? Either Santa or Jesus?  Probably not.  I just have the strong sense lately that there's no time to waste...it's leading me to really examine how well we spend it.  We do not focus on Santa in our home, but he makes his way in- especially with those old movies I love.  And how could we not leave out milk and cookies?? We've come up with all sorts of ways to twist Santa's identity into something resembling a friend and helper of Jesus, but his larger than life presence usually ends up taking center stage in the minds and hearts of children. 

Does it matter right now?  

What if I dared to do better? 

What if I dared to sever ties with happy tradition...for the sake of....joy?  and love?  and peace?  Instead of excitement...followed by let down.

It sounds tragic for my kids, doesn't it.

Don't worry.  I'm not as fierce as I sound.  But I am going to see what happens if I don't even bring out the old holiday movies (ouch).  And I don't think I'll make any plans to visit Santa.  It's one thing to try to explain one Santa.  I'm not sure why we have to compound the whole thing into a twisted mess by introducing them to a dozen other Santas in their lifetime.  If I end up keeping Santa in our lives, I much prefer the one, elusive, wonder-filled Saint Nicholas of my childhood. 

Just thinking...

Holidays and Holy Days

It's always bothered me that Christmas immediately follows Halloween in the commercial world, but I have to admit that I, too, have Christmas on the brain right now.  I've learned that I need to really plan ahead if I want to do it right and not just fall back on generic traditions.  I'm hoping to change a few things this year to make it a little less "holiday" and a little more "holy day."  Christmas has long been sacred to me, and I try to create that sort of spirit in our home, but I still think I could make an even greater effort- especially with my children growing older and absorbing so much from their surroundings.  Here's what I hope to do differently this year:

No more Christmas letter.  Is that Scrooge-ish?  While I enjoy reading Christmas letters from friends and family, I'm just as happy to receive a card or picture with no letter.  I can't abandon the Christmas card tradition altogether, since I really enjoy hearing from the people I love, but I'm ready to dismiss the letter that always creates such a mental block to getting the entire project in the mailbox.   This change is for me- to eliminate any unnecessary triggers for frustration and overload during a season that should be filled with peace! 

No more List-Making.  For my children.  Of course I have to keep a list in order to keep track of what I'm doing, but a good friend mentioned this week that she no longer asks her children to make a list of what they want for Christmas.  This is her way of reducing the amount of focus on "receiving."  I've noticed in the past that when I ask my children what they want for Christmas or their birthday, they actually get a blank look on their face.  It reminds me that children do not naturally go through life wanting things. We (and society) are the ones who plant those desires within them. I could literally see how the simple act of my asking them for a list caused a shift to take place in their minds.  I had planted seeds of desire and nourished the idea that they must certainly want things and need things.  I think I'll take my friend Jenni's approach from now on and avoid nurturing those desires, and instead trust my instincts to know what they would enjoy based on their interests, personalities and talents. Maybe this will leave a little more room for their minds to dwell on the most joyful parts of Christmas, and allow them to be surprised and delighted with whatever they do receive.

Nativities, Nativities! I read about someone last year whose only Christmas decorations are a collection of nativities that they set up throughout the house.  Doesn't that sound perfect??   I have a very nice nativity set that I bought while studying in Jerusalem, but it's not one that I particularly want my children to play with.  I'm thinking this year, at the beginning of the season, I will gift each of my older children their own nativity set to keep and carry with them after they leave home one day.  My mom had two nativity sets.  One was porcelain and off limits in the living room, but the other was resin and set up under the Christmas tree-- free for my brothers and sisters and I to handle and play with.  I have many memories of studying the figures and faces and coming up with different arrangements for how I envisioned that first Christmas Eve.  I'm taking things a step further by giving each of my children their own set, but I'm hoping that it will become a personal treasure, and turn their hearts to the birth of the Savior as they handle it, play with it and rearrange it over and over again throughout the season.

Heartfelt Giving- In years past, we've sought ways to help other people monetarily at Christmas time.  Sub for Santa, Angel Trees, Toys for Tots, etc.  These are convenient and good ways to help families in need.  My friend Molly really took things further when she commented this week that she's started to feel like she needs to seek more heartfelt opportunities for her children to give to others.  Going shopping for another child or family is nice, but we have no idea who they are, and ultimately it's Mom and Dad who are writing the check at the end.  Do our children really feel what it means to truly give of themselves at Christmas?  Maybe my children are still too young to understand this.  Maybe they should still be learning to give and sacrifice within our own family before we branch out to the community. But I would like to try something different this year and see what comes of it.  I think I will suggest that we pray daily as a family to know how we can give of ourselves to someone in need within our own circle of family, friends and neighbors.  At this moment, I have no idea what the answer will look like come December, but I'm excited at the prospects.  I suspect those prayers will be answered.  Thanks, Molly.

These are a few of my baby steps towards making Christmas a Holy Day rather than a Holiday.

What do you do?

I am sincerely interested in any ideas or traditions you've developed towards the same goal.

Also-  does anyone know of a good place to buy reasonably priced nativities?

Also Also- Can you suggest any children's Christmas books with a Christ-centered theme? I try to add a new one every year to our collection.


 

How It's Done

I just saw this little video and laughed all the way through it, because

I KNOW THIS LIFE!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P27WWmkl6_Q&feature=player_embedded

In all Seriousness...

 

Does this not look dee-licious?!:

 

It was.  Yes sirree.  The next day, I tried it with roasted beets and yogurt cheese.  Ever hear of such a thing?  Yogurt cheeeeese.  Pretty yummy. 


p.s.  That's a mushroom.  Who needs beef when you can have a bello? That's what I say.  And sometimes that's not what I say....

Sometimes I say:  "Bring on the Burger!  And can I get a load of cheese fries with that?!"

  =)

More on Motherhood

I like the comments made about desire and nature.  I've been thinking...

You make a good point, Sarah, about women who struggle to have the desire to be mothers.  I suppose it comes down to whether or not you believe it is what's right for you.  That kind of faith can change desire, regardless of "feelings," or at least lead us to pray for the desire we wish we had.  Those prayers are answered- this I know.




Don't be shocked, but I had to do something like that when it came to marriage.  I knew I would get married someday, and I knew it was ultimately what was right for me and what I wanted, but I lacked the desire to be married sooner than later.  Add to that the fear of making such a commitment, and  I had a bit of a problem!  I can't even get started on my struggles there or I'll be here all day, but a struggle it was.  And through lots and lots of prayer and a hefty load of faith, hope and charity, I overcame! 

That struggle changed me- in a good way.  And led me to more happiness than I could ever imagine.  But I had to make a choice.






I am naturally a very obedient person.  I always have been.  I have never had a problem following rules and directions.  I also naturally have a fair amount of intelligence.  Combine these two natural qualities of mine and it makes for a pretty good student.  I always did well in school.  It was just who I am, naturally.  I never had to make a choice about it. I worked hard, but I never had to push myself very hard.   I don't want to diminish what I did accomplish- I loved studying and learning and did all that was required of me.  But when I graduated from college, I had the nagging feeling that through all of it, I had never realized my potential academically or educationally.  As much as I enjoyed school, there was no sense of triumph for me.  No marked achievement inside or out (not yet, anyway).  And I certainly can't say I changed anyone else for the better.  I was simply an older version of who I am naturally.

I believe this is your point, Sally.  And an interesting one in relation to motherhood. 





In contrast, my mission experience was not quite so natural.  I never wanted to serve a mission growing up,  but when I made the choice to serve, I was on fire.  Desire was not a problem.  However, despite my strong desire, being a missionary was initially uncomfortable for me.  The MTC made me claustrophobic.  Tracting put my stomach in knots.  My first two months in the field, I did not look forward to the start of each new day.  It was HARD.  I wanted to love it, but it was out of my comfort zone.  It came to the point where I had to make a choice.  I knew I was in the right place, doing the right thing-  but something had to change inside.  I had to choose to stop focusing on what was hard and uncomfortable and awkward- I had to choose to reel my mind back into my heart and turn them both over completely.  I had to choose to stop overrating all my needs and feelings.  I had to choose to get out of my own way and give myself up.


 

And I did.  I dove in and I never looked back.  I still remember the day I realized a change had come inside me.  We were driving home from an appointment- I was consumed with thoughts of the people we were serving and it hit me how perfectly joyful I felt.  All of a sudden 18 months was not long enough.  There were plenty of hard days to come, but I was devoted heart, mind and soul.  My mission changed me.  I hope it changed others.  I found out who I am and what I am capable of through the love of God.  But I had to lose myself in order to find myself.

It's the same with motherhood.  For me.

The "Natural" Mother in Me

I was talking to a good friend the other day and asked about a mutual friend of ours who has three small children.  "Oh, she's really struggling," my friend said, "It's really hard for her.  She feels like such a bad mother."  I immediately empathized with our friend's struggles and feelings, remembering especially how hard it was for me when my oldest were so small.  The long, mind-numbing days meeting endless needs.  The exhaustion, the tears (mine and theirs), the general heaviness of being a mother of small children.  It was not easy.  It IS not easy.

My friend looked at me and said: "But you're a natural Mother.  She isn't.  Motherhood just isn't her thing." (I'm paraphrasing here.)

Wow.  I'm glad I make it look easy.  I guess.  I can say today that I absolutely love my job, but it did not all come naturally.  In fact, I think the only instinct I can claim is the love I have for my children.  That came as soon as they were born.  But the rest?  Hmm...

I always wanted to be a mother, and my friend knows this, but I think she has confused desire with ability.  It wasn't just "there" for me.  Being a Mother-- learning how to mother my children in the fullest sense has been the most soul-stretching, heart-expanding experience of my life.   And I'm still learning.  Giving up everything else to be at home and be fully present and passionate about what I do has been my mission.  It has required every last bit of me, and then some.  At times it has been uncomfortable, inconvenient and overwhelming-, frustrating, depressing and insane.  Plenty of blood, sweat and tears, and oh so many prayers.  But there has been enough joy and happiness along the way to fuel me on.  Enough hope to keep the vision and vision to keep the hope. And most of all, enough love.

I cannot claim ability.  I cannot claim nature.  I can only claim desire-  to make motherhood my passion.

I carried this poem around with me as a missionary and it's words still ring through me as a mother-

The Will To Win

Author: Berton Braley

If you want a thing bad enough
To go out and fight for it,
Work day and night for it,
Give up your time and your peace and your sleep for it

If only desire of it
Makes you quite mad enough
Never to tire of it,
Makes you hold all other things tawdry
and cheap for it

If life seems all empty and useless without it
And all that you scheme and you dream is about it,

If gladly you'll sweat for it,
Fret for it, Plan for it,
Lose all your terror of God or man for it,

If you'll simply go after that thing that you want.
With all your capacity,
Strength and sagacity,
Faith, hope and confidence, stern pertinacity,

If neither cold poverty, famished and gaunt,
Nor sickness nor pain
Of body or brain
Can turn you away from the thing that you want,

If dogged and grim you besiege and beset it,
You'll get it!

A Glimpse of Luke's Mind

We were having a bedtime chat in the dark the other night and I asked Luke how he was liking school:


Luke:  I like it 75%, and I don't like it 25%.

Me: Yah?...

Luke: Kind of like water and air.  Water is 75% of the earth's surface and land is 25%.

Me: (laughing)  Uh-huh...

Luke: The water doesn't really need the land, but the land really needs the water.

Me: (still chuckling) I think you're right, Luke.

[Pause]

Luke:  Mom, when the Liberty Bell fell and cracked, it made the sound of a B-Flat.


!!

Under the Apple Tree

Will someone please come over and help me make applesauce?!




I've got about 30 pounds sitting here.

 

My little worker bees aren't here anymore during the day.





I'm having a hard time getting motivated to do it all by myself.

 

Woe is me.  



Sure was fun picking tho'!

And  climbing...


Good times.

We drove nearly a hundred miles to this orchard in Charlottesville. 

For the apple donuts.

Did you catch that??    Apple Donuts.

Ohhhh.....myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

Heavenly.

We didn't even make it out of the parking lot til' we'd snarfed a dozen.