Luke:
"Mom, what do I type in Google If I want to find out about all the math the world hasn't discovered yet?"
?!
Monday, February 28, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Quote of the Day
Miri:
"Mom, why do they put people in jail if all they did is kill somebody?"
!!!
You can imagine the discussion that followed...
"Mom, why do they put people in jail if all they did is kill somebody?"
!!!
You can imagine the discussion that followed...
Friday, February 18, 2011
When Grandpa Petrey Rings Twice
Creighton's dad passed away two years ago. One night last year, we were all sitting around the dinner table talking about him when the doorbell rang-- half-way. Someone got up to answer it, but no one was there. I, somewhat jokingly, said: "It's Grandpa Petrey coming to say 'Hello!'" "He heard us talking about him!" All eyes grew as big and wide as my smile. I used it as an opportunity to teach about death and the spirit world, and we went on with our evening.
A few weeks later, we were once again sitting at the dinner table and Grandpa Petrey came up in conversation. Guess what happened: the doorbell rang-- half-way. That's when I knew I was right. We all answered in unison: "Hi, Grandpa Petrey!" And ever since then, we know that when the doorbell rings half way, it's Grandpa coming to visit us. It only ever happens during dinner, when we're all together. And it's never the full Ding-Dong, just the DING.
And no one is ever at the door.
Tonight the doorbell rang during dinner. DING! Miri was across the room and immediately shouted: "HI, GRANDPA PETREY!"
And we all smiled and waved.
=)
A few weeks later, we were once again sitting at the dinner table and Grandpa Petrey came up in conversation. Guess what happened: the doorbell rang-- half-way. That's when I knew I was right. We all answered in unison: "Hi, Grandpa Petrey!" And ever since then, we know that when the doorbell rings half way, it's Grandpa coming to visit us. It only ever happens during dinner, when we're all together. And it's never the full Ding-Dong, just the DING.
And no one is ever at the door.
Tonight the doorbell rang during dinner. DING! Miri was across the room and immediately shouted: "HI, GRANDPA PETREY!"
And we all smiled and waved.
=)
Friday, February 11, 2011
A Virtuous Woman- Reconstructed
After far too much thought and some good discussion with friends, I think I've come up with my definition of a virtuous woman. Ironically, I only just now googled it and found all kinds of definitions, but true to myself, I've had to go about it on my own in order to internalize it. . I may be coming full circle in my thoughts- returning to what I've always known, but there's something about taking apart and exploring the inner workings of an idea- and then putting it back together again. Much like my dissection of Santa Claus, I understand better why I do what I do, or believe what I believe. It's part of my ongoing effort to live deliberately.
Here's my reconstructed definition:
A virtuous woman is one who is devoted to the nourishment, growth and education of others. She is a woman of vision and purpose who seeks the will of God for her and sees with her heart to meet the needs of the present moment.
If you're as interested as I am in what it means to be a virtuous woman, I enjoyed reading this expanded definition, based on a study of Proverbs, here. This is one man's domestic interpretation and literal analysis of Proverbs. Obviously, it's important to see the principles behind the examples in order to apply it to our own lives.
When I imagine a virtuous woman personified, I think of Marmee (Little Women) and Little Amy Dorrit. Of Anne Elliot (Persuasion) and Molly Gibson (Wives and Daughters.) Of Ruth and of Mary. And of all the women in my life who have mothered me.
And I think of this woman, described in C.S. Lewis' The Great Divorce:
This, to me, is a Virtuous Woman.
Here's my reconstructed definition:
A virtuous woman is one who is devoted to the nourishment, growth and education of others. She is a woman of vision and purpose who seeks the will of God for her and sees with her heart to meet the needs of the present moment.
If you're as interested as I am in what it means to be a virtuous woman, I enjoyed reading this expanded definition, based on a study of Proverbs, here. This is one man's domestic interpretation and literal analysis of Proverbs. Obviously, it's important to see the principles behind the examples in order to apply it to our own lives.
When I imagine a virtuous woman personified, I think of Marmee (Little Women) and Little Amy Dorrit. Of Anne Elliot (Persuasion) and Molly Gibson (Wives and Daughters.) Of Ruth and of Mary. And of all the women in my life who have mothered me.
And I think of this woman, described in C.S. Lewis' The Great Divorce:
Motherhood
of a different kind
Only partly do I remember the unbearable beauty of her face. 'Is it?... Is it?' I whispered to my guide.
'Not at all,' said he. 'It's someone ye'll never have heard of. Her name on earth was Sarah Smith and she lived at Golden Green.'
'She seems to be... well, a person of particular importance?'
'Aye. She is one of the great ones. Ye have heard that fame in [heaven] and fame on Earth are two quite different things.' ...
'And who are all these young men and women on each side?'
'They are her sons and daughters.'
'She must have had a very large family, Sir.'
'Every young man or boy that met her became her son - even if it was only the boy that brought the meat to her back door. Every girl that met her was her daughter.'
'Isn't that a bit hard on their own parents?'
'No. There are those that steal other people's children. But her motherhood was of a different kind. Those on whom it fell went back to their natural parents loving them more. Few men looked on her without becoming, in a certain fashion, her lovers. But it was the kind of love that made them not less true, but truer, to their own wives... It is like when you throw a stone into a pool and the concentric waves spread out further and further. Who knows where it will end? ... But already there is joy enough in the little finger of a great saint such as yonder lady to waken all the dead things of the universe into life.'
of a different kind
Only partly do I remember the unbearable beauty of her face. 'Is it?... Is it?' I whispered to my guide.
'Not at all,' said he. 'It's someone ye'll never have heard of. Her name on earth was Sarah Smith and she lived at Golden Green.'
'She seems to be... well, a person of particular importance?'
'Aye. She is one of the great ones. Ye have heard that fame in [heaven] and fame on Earth are two quite different things.' ...
'And who are all these young men and women on each side?'
'They are her sons and daughters.'
'She must have had a very large family, Sir.'
'Every young man or boy that met her became her son - even if it was only the boy that brought the meat to her back door. Every girl that met her was her daughter.'
'Isn't that a bit hard on their own parents?'
'No. There are those that steal other people's children. But her motherhood was of a different kind. Those on whom it fell went back to their natural parents loving them more. Few men looked on her without becoming, in a certain fashion, her lovers. But it was the kind of love that made them not less true, but truer, to their own wives... It is like when you throw a stone into a pool and the concentric waves spread out further and further. Who knows where it will end? ... But already there is joy enough in the little finger of a great saint such as yonder lady to waken all the dead things of the universe into life.'
This, to me, is a Virtuous Woman.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
The Virtue of a Mother
Earlier this year, a friend of mine wrote a post here about virtue that I found intriguing. She discussed virtue in the way it was defined by Plato and Aristotle:
They speak of virtue as that which makes a thing to be what it is, and to do its work well. They say virtue is a habit or quality that allows the bearer to succeed at his, her, or its purpose. So, for example, the virtue of a knife is sharpness and among the virtues of a racehorse is speed.
I've been trying to help the kids understand virtue in this sense - that they have qualities that will help them succeed at their purpose.
This is such a beautiful idea, that I couldn't help but explore it further.
If every thing and every ONE has inherent virtues which allow them to succeed in the purpose of their creation, then
What is the virtue of a woman?
And more specifically,
What is the virtue of a mother?
It helps to understand the purpose of a mother.
Modern dictionaries define mothers almost entirely in physical terms of giving birth or as a status of authority or control, with slight mention of "maternal affection" and "protective care."
But there is more.
The Proclamation on the Family adds the following to a mother's purpose:
Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children
1. That which nourishes; food; diet. 2. That which promotes growth; education; instruction. Ephesians 6.
Therefore, a mother's primary purpose is to nourish physically and to promote growth, education and instruction of her children. And the question follows: what are the qualities of a mother which allow her to succeed in her purpose? What are virtues of a mother?
With these thoughts on my mind over many months, I began to notice that certain virtues written about in scripture have been assigned feminine gender.
These are all feminine virtues. I don't believe its coincidence. These are precisely the virtues that women and mothers need in order to succeed in their purpose. Heaven knows these are the very qualities I have longed for as a mother. So often praying for PATIENCE, and WISDOM, and CHARITY in all of its forms from one moment to the next. These are our virtues. The inherent virtues of a woman and a mother, which make her who she is intended to be. They are the qualities of a nurturer.
I am beginning to understand that patience, wisdom and charity in their truest forms are a part of our intrinsic make-up; an intentional part of our design to help us succeed in our purpose as mothers. In a sense, we need only to awaken them in order to become who we are really designed to be.
[God] set our will to dress them...To liberate that splendour, to let it become fully what it is trying to be.
But HOW? Isn't this the grand question? How do I "liberate" those virtues planted in me which are so essential to truly fulfilling my role as a mother, as a woman, as a nurturer? It recently struck me that the answer lies in choosing to being virtuous.
Usually when I think of the word "virtuous," I think of it in terms of purity and chastity or morality, but I've never thought of it in conjunction with the definition of virtue given by ancient philosophers. In that sense, to be virtuous would mean to perform according to one's design or purpose in a manner that allows ones virtues to succeed in fulfilling its purpose.
The 1828 edition of Webster's American Dictionary defines virtuous as:
4. Efficacious by inherent qualities; as virtuous herbs; virtuous drugs.
If I don't teach my children to see that things have qualities that help them serve their purpose in their best way, they will start to feel entitled to using their environment in any way that suits them, without regard to "petty" rules and laws.
In the same way, if we as women and mothers don't see that we have inherent qualities, or virtues that help us serve our purpose, we might also start to feel entitled to use ourselves, our time, our talents, our minds and hearts in any way that suits us, without regard to the designs of our nature that God planted within us.
For instance: The virtue of a knife is its sharpness. I can use a knife as a garden shovel, but that is not what it was designed for. The knife would not be virtuous. It would not have great and powerful properties because it is not being used in the way it was intended in order to bring out its virtues.
Similarly, the virtues of a mother, or nurturer are patience and wisdom and love. But if I, as a mother, choose to devote my time or talents or even my thoughts to become something other than I was intended to be, I will likely not fully develop those virtues I need to perform "efficaciously" in my role as a mother. I may never know the the power of those virtues already within me, which come from being virtuous.
The world relentlessly preaches that much of a mother's fulfillment comes from outside of motherhood- from pursuing her own interests and goals and passions independent of her family. I have found that these good things allow me to develop skills or qualities in other areas, and reach a level of mental satisfaction and personal reward, but they don't usually increase my patience or wisdom or love at home. It is in mothering that a woman's finest virtues are revealed and her greatest fulfillment is found.
Once we take our eyes away from ourselves, from our interests, from our own rights, privileges, ambitions—then [our eyes] will become clear to see Jesus around us.
[Mother Teresa]
Being virtuous in this sense implies a belief in God and His will for us. It is trusting that as we seek first to nurture others, we will, in turn, be nurtured by Him. In fact, in my limited experience, it seems that this brand of selflessness is its own reward. We are left truly filled- wanting nothing for ourselves and needing no justification or validation in the end. How would that be! C.S. Lewis takes this idea to the utmost in the following excerpt:
I imagine the third class of people would easily fall under the category of "virtuous." I am not there yet by any means....I'm sure I'll be working on this until the end of my days. But I love the idea of liberating the splendour of the virtues within me to become fully what [nature] is trying to be- and finding the joy and fulfillment that already surrounds me. No longer do patience, wisdom and charity feel so unattainable. They come- layer upon layer as I seek to be truly virtuous in the present moment with my time, my talents, my energy, and even my thoughts.
In light of my new understanding of virtue, the following verse takes on even greater significance:
Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price [is] far above rubies. Proverbs 31:10
Yes, indeed.
They speak of virtue as that which makes a thing to be what it is, and to do its work well. They say virtue is a habit or quality that allows the bearer to succeed at his, her, or its purpose. So, for example, the virtue of a knife is sharpness and among the virtues of a racehorse is speed.
I've been trying to help the kids understand virtue in this sense - that they have qualities that will help them succeed at their purpose.
This is such a beautiful idea, that I couldn't help but explore it further.
If every thing and every ONE has inherent virtues which allow them to succeed in the purpose of their creation, then
What is the virtue of a woman?
And more specifically,
What is the virtue of a mother?
It helps to understand the purpose of a mother.
Modern dictionaries define mothers almost entirely in physical terms of giving birth or as a status of authority or control, with slight mention of "maternal affection" and "protective care."
But there is more.
The Proclamation on the Family adds the following to a mother's purpose:
Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children
The 1828 edition of Webster's American Dictionary of the English Language defines "nurture," as follows:
Therefore, a mother's primary purpose is to nourish physically and to promote growth, education and instruction of her children. And the question follows: what are the qualities of a mother which allow her to succeed in her purpose? What are virtues of a mother?
With these thoughts on my mind over many months, I began to notice that certain virtues written about in scripture have been assigned feminine gender.
But let PATIENCE have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. [James 1:4]
Happy is the man that findeth WISDOM, and the man that getteth understanding…She is more precious than rubies: and all the things thou canst desire are not to be compared unto her. [Proverbs 3:13-15]
And CHARITY suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. [Moroni 7:45]
These are all feminine virtues. I don't believe its coincidence. These are precisely the virtues that women and mothers need in order to succeed in their purpose. Heaven knows these are the very qualities I have longed for as a mother. So often praying for PATIENCE, and WISDOM, and CHARITY in all of its forms from one moment to the next. These are our virtues. The inherent virtues of a woman and a mother, which make her who she is intended to be. They are the qualities of a nurturer.
I am beginning to understand that patience, wisdom and charity in their truest forms are a part of our intrinsic make-up; an intentional part of our design to help us succeed in our purpose as mothers. In a sense, we need only to awaken them in order to become who we are really designed to be.
“God planted within women something divine.” That something is the gift and the gifts of motherhood. Elder Matthew Cowley taught that “men have to have something given to them [in mortality] to make them saviors of men, but not mothers, not women. [They] are born with an inherent right, an inherent authority, to be the saviors of human souls … and the regenerating force in the lives of God’s children.”
In The Four Loves, C.S. Lewis describes these inherent virtues as the "garden of our nature" that God has planted within us. He says:[God] set our will to dress them...To liberate that splendour, to let it become fully what it is trying to be.
But HOW? Isn't this the grand question? How do I "liberate" those virtues planted in me which are so essential to truly fulfilling my role as a mother, as a woman, as a nurturer? It recently struck me that the answer lies in choosing to being virtuous.
Usually when I think of the word "virtuous," I think of it in terms of purity and chastity or morality, but I've never thought of it in conjunction with the definition of virtue given by ancient philosophers. In that sense, to be virtuous would mean to perform according to one's design or purpose in a manner that allows ones virtues to succeed in fulfilling its purpose.
The 1828 edition of Webster's American Dictionary defines virtuous as:
4. Efficacious by inherent qualities; as virtuous herbs; virtuous drugs.
5. Having great or powerful properties; as virtuous steel; a virtuous staff; a virtuous ring.
But those inherent qualities and properties cannot be powerful unless the thing is used according to its design. My friend wrote:
If I don't teach my children to see that things have qualities that help them serve their purpose in their best way, they will start to feel entitled to using their environment in any way that suits them, without regard to "petty" rules and laws.
In the same way, if we as women and mothers don't see that we have inherent qualities, or virtues that help us serve our purpose, we might also start to feel entitled to use ourselves, our time, our talents, our minds and hearts in any way that suits us, without regard to the designs of our nature that God planted within us.
For instance: The virtue of a knife is its sharpness. I can use a knife as a garden shovel, but that is not what it was designed for. The knife would not be virtuous. It would not have great and powerful properties because it is not being used in the way it was intended in order to bring out its virtues.
Similarly, the virtues of a mother, or nurturer are patience and wisdom and love. But if I, as a mother, choose to devote my time or talents or even my thoughts to become something other than I was intended to be, I will likely not fully develop those virtues I need to perform "efficaciously" in my role as a mother. I may never know the the power of those virtues already within me, which come from being virtuous.
The world relentlessly preaches that much of a mother's fulfillment comes from outside of motherhood- from pursuing her own interests and goals and passions independent of her family. I have found that these good things allow me to develop skills or qualities in other areas, and reach a level of mental satisfaction and personal reward, but they don't usually increase my patience or wisdom or love at home. It is in mothering that a woman's finest virtues are revealed and her greatest fulfillment is found.
Once we take our eyes away from ourselves, from our interests, from our own rights, privileges, ambitions—then [our eyes] will become clear to see Jesus around us.
[Mother Teresa]
Being virtuous in this sense implies a belief in God and His will for us. It is trusting that as we seek first to nurture others, we will, in turn, be nurtured by Him. In fact, in my limited experience, it seems that this brand of selflessness is its own reward. We are left truly filled- wanting nothing for ourselves and needing no justification or validation in the end. How would that be! C.S. Lewis takes this idea to the utmost in the following excerpt:
There are three kinds of people in the world. The first class is of those who live simply for their own sake and pleasure, regarding Man and Nature as so much raw material to be cut up into whatever shape may serve them. In the second class are those who acknowledge some other claim upon them- the will of God, the categorical imperative, or the good of society – and honestly try to pursue their own interests no further than this claim will allow. They try to surrender to the higher claim as much as it demands, like men paying a tax, but hope, like other taxpayers, that what is left over will be enough for them to live on… But the third class is of those who can say with St. Paul that for them ‘to live is Christ’. These people have got rid of the tiresome business of adjusting the rival claims of Self and God by the simple expedient of rejecting the claims of the Self altogether. The old egoistic will has been turned round, reconditioned, and made into a new thing. The will of Christ no longer limits theirs; it is theirs. All their time, in belonging to Him, belongs also to them, for they are His… [C.S. Lewis, Three kinds of Men]
I imagine the third class of people would easily fall under the category of "virtuous." I am not there yet by any means....I'm sure I'll be working on this until the end of my days. But I love the idea of liberating the splendour of the virtues within me to become fully what [nature] is trying to be- and finding the joy and fulfillment that already surrounds me. No longer do patience, wisdom and charity feel so unattainable. They come- layer upon layer as I seek to be truly virtuous in the present moment with my time, my talents, my energy, and even my thoughts.
In light of my new understanding of virtue, the following verse takes on even greater significance:
Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price [is] far above rubies. Proverbs 31:10
Yes, indeed.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
In The Bleak Midwinter
The holidays are long over, but it sure is a bleak midwinter here. This is one of my favorite versions of one of my favorite Christmas songs.
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