Dear Kate

Will you please, please, please just leave my clothes where they are while I'm getting dressed? Let's keep them on the shelves and on their hangers, okay? Dumping out the hamper and mixing them all together this morning was quite the stunt. And yes, I see the 500 tampons all over the house. But the clothes....Here's the problem, Kate: I just don't have time to re-organize my closet.....EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. You're obviously inspired by the mountains of laundry in my bedroom, but can we just nip this one in the bud? Please? And my eye shadow. You don't need to pulverize my makeup every time I get in the shower. That stuff's expensive! I realize it just sits in my drawer, but I'd really like to have something besides orange to wear to church......k?

I know, I know, it's not easy being a twin. I hear you screaming in syllables. You've got some serious rage inside. But the sweet little melodies at the end of your fits are throwing me off. We can't afford toddler therapy right now, so if you could just tone down the hurricanes a notch, leave your signature off of the furniture and keep your food within a minimum radius, I'd really appreciate it.

One more thing, little friend: Your fixation with my chest. Go ahead and wear my bras if that makes you happy, but you just can't drop them in the mudroom anymore. That goes for the mutilated tampon, too. The neighbors use that door. Oh, and we need to do something about the hand you keep stuffed down my shirt. It's getting a little awkward. Besides, I've transferred title back to Daddy, so you might have to talk this over with him.

I love you Kate! I love that you love me to pieces. All my pieces. And I tell myself that over and over and over again when I can't function because you're loving me so much- in my arms, on my legs, under my toes, ...down my shirt. Your my sweet and spicy little appendage.

Love,
Mama

By the way- fabulous outfit today. Love the sock-glove thing you've got goin' on. Nice tribute to MJ.