Some Things I Learned on Last Week's Insanity Trip

1. It's much easier to skip the pre-trip laundry and pack homely clothes.

2. No one wants leftover cheeseball for car snacks.

3. Green smoothies do not age well in the van. Overnight.

4. If you wait until 1/2 hour after naptime to leave, babies will remain comatose through pitstops.

5. "We'll be there as soon as we get there." Period.

6. Threatening to leave your 8 year old on a street corner for the first time is an effective method of silencing smart-alec remarks. (No, I do not recommend this.)

7. 2 hotel rooms is better than one.

8. There is no line at the Cheesecake Factory at 5:30 pm on Black Friday in Washington D.C.!

9. Arriving to breakfast with 5 little ones will induce enough shock and awe to produce a free meal compliments of Hilton Hotels. (This has happened twice).

10. If you don't want cranky babies, dress them in spring homely clothes on a blustery November day so they're little bodies are too frozen to cry.

11. Dead camera batteries can be liberating.

12. The Smithsonians are FREE!

13. Peering through bums and thighs on a holiday is not a fun way to see them.

For kids, I mean.

14. But at least you get your money's worth.

15. When desperate, I will feed my children deep-fried baloney corn dogs.

16. So I can eat a falafel.

17. All falafels are not created equal.

Mine was very less equal.

18. Little Abby can down a large Ben & Jerry's Addicted to Chocolate Shake with no help at all.

19. I really wanted to help her.

20. There are traffic jams on Saturday in D.C.

21. Getting stuck in them is a great way to eliminate potty stops.

22. And discover just how tough your children's bladders really are.

23. And just how well they know the song "Fifty Nifty United States."

24. My kids know it really well.

25.They can sing it over and over and over again.

26. Loudly.

27. In the back of the van.

28. While two babies are screaming their heads off.

Aaand that's pretty much the moment we arrived at our usual destination:

Insanity.

Other than that....

We had a good time! It was great being back in a city we both love. So many memories come flooding back. And it was fun to have the kids with us for the first time. To tell them how we met and where we had our first date. Luke pretty much gave us his own walking tour of the city, though. I think he knows more about U.S. Government than I do. Washington D.C. is a grand place.

And what a nice Thanksgiving! It was a perfectly pleasant day for us. So pleasant, I could write a song about it! (good thing for you I'm not a songwriter.) The weather was crisp and clear and sunny. We spent the day with our new friends, the Bennetts. My turkey was so beautiful! (dry and crumbly) My gravy was tasty! (thick as glue) Darla's sweet potatoes and rolls were out of this world! (I don't even dare ask for those recipes.) And to finish it off-- pie. A super-delicious peach and raspberry pie with crumb topping (a lopsided volcano-looking thing with make-shift fluting blown off the side.) Yum!

And for the first time in my life, I felt grateful for that little turkey who lost his life so we could feast joyfully. And we did.

I really truly hope he was a happy bird.