I'm well on my way to finding some child-proof nativities. And, yes, I would be interested in learning how to make the wooden ones, too. I think the Fisher Price nativity might be perfect for the twins. There's another cute one for Miri at Deseret Book. And Amazon.com has thousands, of course, but I sorted by lowest price and found a good one for Abby. I might see if Luke would like to make his own. Did I mention we'll be pulling him out for homeschool any day now? (Surprise!)
Thanks for the link to your post about last Christmas, Ashley. I do remember that talk, and it has stuck with me all year. I actually talked to my Mom about it this past weekend, hoping to coerce my siblings into doing the same thing for cousin and family gifts. Here's the link, for anyone interested in a service-oriented idea for extended family exchanges: http://gatesservice.blogspot.com/2009/12/history-of-gates-family-season-of.html
And funny you should mention Heifer International, Sally. I've had their brochure on my desk for the past few months. I've refused to file it away, to make sure I don't forget about it. I love the concept, and have been trying to figure out how we should approach it with our children (or if I should incorporate it into plans with extended family.) I really really like your idea of the kids having an "extras" chore chart and earning their own money to donate. That goes right along with my hopes of having them truly feel the giving on a deeper level this year. If anyone else is interested in learning more about this program, check out www.heifer.org .
I've ventured a little further in my thoughts on holidays versus Holy Days, such as:
What's to be done with Santa Claus?
We rarely watch TV, but I'm a sucker for old holiday movies. They conjure up all kinds of nostalgic, magical feelings from my childhood Christmases, and most of them deal with Santa Claus on some level, but I'm thinking....perhaps this year I'll avoid bringing those movies out
I love this movie. For me, it captures the humility of Mary and Joseph, and the scriptural story of the nativity so beautifully. It left me in tears.
Does it have to be one or the other? Either Santa or Jesus? Probably not. I just have the strong sense lately that there's no time to waste...it's leading me to really examine how well we spend it. We do not focus on Santa in our home, but he makes his way in- especially with those old movies I love. And how could we not leave out milk and cookies?? We've come up with all sorts of ways to twist Santa's identity into something resembling a friend and helper of Jesus, but his larger than life presence usually ends up taking center stage in the minds and hearts of children.
Does it matter right now?
What if I dared to do better?
What if I dared to sever ties with happy tradition...for the sake of....joy? and love? and peace? Instead of excitement...followed by let down.
It sounds tragic for my kids, doesn't it.
Don't worry. I'm not as fierce as I sound. But I am going to see what happens if I don't even bring out the old holiday movies (ouch). And I don't think I'll make any plans to visit Santa. It's one thing to try to explain one Santa. I'm not sure why we have to compound the whole thing into a twisted mess by introducing them to a dozen other Santas in their lifetime. If I end up keeping Santa in our lives, I much prefer the one, elusive, wonder-filled Saint Nicholas of my childhood.
Just thinking...
6 comments:
Let me start off by saying, I am not a santa scrooge! I do think that Santa has a place in Christmas, just like Jesus does. But our focus is no longer on him. I quit taking my kids to see Santa several years ago unless they begged to go....which doesn't happen by the way. We do not watch tv, so the kids have no idea what they want, so the whole Santa thing seemed a little silly when one of my kids had no idea what to ask him to bring her. We do watch the movies when we have time (which is less and less nowadays....) and I like to share the story of the tradition of Santa if asked by my kids. We read from the gospels each night during the month of December and we act out the nativity on Christmas eve, followed by the giving of homemade presents to each other (we draw names to simplify this) and I have found that Christmas stays very Christ centered. I know we can always do more, but this is what has evolved in our family over the years.
I love these last two posts. I am also on a search for ideas on how to make the holidays "holy days".
We've come up with a few things - we won't be doing Santa this year (that's a big one for us), we're making homemade gifts for one another, we'll be reading the Christmas Carol, we're also studying the life of Christ these months leading up to it, I think we'll do a talent show for each other and a musical program. We think we might go sledding on Christmas just to make it a special family day and since we won't have a bunch of new toys to keep us entertained like in other years. We're also praying for opportunities to serve. We'll see what happens.
I love all of the ideas shared. I think we'll try the manger straw thing... if I can find some type of manger and a place that sells straw... I've never see the Nativity Story - we'll have to watch that as well. We want to do and advent thing too. I'm looking at ways to do that.
Thanks for these posts. I think I'll write a similar one to see if I can get more ideas. I really want to make it special and memorable, but having been brought up with Christmas being centered on gifts, it's hard for me to figure out exactly how to make it so.
I agree with J9. I'm okay with Santa being a part of Christmas. Honestly, I think it adds a little to the fun and excitement of Christmas, especially when the kids are little.
I also agree that it has to do with your focus and approach. Santa makes his appearance in some of our holiday books, and we do leave him cookies/milk (and carrots for the reindeer) on Christmas Eve. But because the bulk of our Christmas activities (scripture study, FHE, service, angel tree etc.) are focused on the Savior, I know there's no doubt in our children's minds what Christmas is truly about.
My kids are a little older, and I can tell you that the magic and allure of Santa doesn't last very long. I put him in the same category as I do princesses and dressing up for little girls. It's a happy, sparkly childhood phase that they eventually (and too quickly!) outgrow all on their own. But I do think the happy, sparkly memories stay with them.
I'm certainly not saying you can't make happy Christmas memories without Santa. I just think it's okay to include some of the things that are fun for kids without detracting from the true meaning of Christmas. For example, I can't really think how decorating gingerbread houses ties into the Christmas story, but it's a tradition we look forward to every year, and it's a fun way that we spend time together as a family during December.
I really do think it's about finding the balance that's right for your family. For me, Santa is like chocolate. I don't think it's necessary that I give it up completely, and I certainly shouldn't make it my main course, but it's great as a dessert after a wonderful healthy meal! =)
I have relatives that are Jehovah Witness and although their conversion turned their family around 180 degrees and did them a world of good, the rest of us miss them a lot. Because they turn away completely from Santa and celebration at all we've hardly seen them since their conversion since holidays are when people have/make the time for family gatherings. It's also a little hard for all kids involved because kids have a hard time understanding that just because Mom and Dad and the church say that these things are not right for us they can still be right for others. It naturally leads them to be judgmental only because they lack the maturity to separate themselves from the mainstream so completely and yet not place themselves on unequal footing. They can't understand yet that for some families Santa is all they have to bring them Peace and Goodwill and that special feeling that is the Spirit of Christ even if they don't quite recognize it for its true source. I really do think Santa is important for this reason. It helps people who haven't yet been able to fully accept Christ into their lives to still feel a measure of His Spirit and be touched briefly by the Holy Ghost.
Like Karen said, Santa was part of a happy sparkly childhood and traditions that made me feel safe and loved at home. I really did see him as a sort of saint that was really good at following Jesus' example of loving everyone.
He gave Christmas another magical element that only heightened the wonder I felt at Baby Jesus' birth.
"What if I dared to sever ties with happy tradition...for the sake of....joy? and love? and peace? Instead of excitement...followed by let down."
I've been thinking about this concept so much lately--not only in the context of Christmas, but in life in general. How do we find joy, love and peace? I believe so many people are starving for pure, unadulterated joy and are looking for it in all the wrong places. The way our society celebrates Christmas today seems to be a sypmtom of a greater problem. We think we need more--more vacations, more things, more physical beauty, more entertainment in order to be happy. And, what we're finding is a less happy, more empty, broken, and depressed society. I know I'm generalizing, but I think it's safe to safe that (in general) we are not a very satisfied people.
Everything I've studied about joy and peace seems to revolve around giving of ourselves and centering our lives on the most selfless "giver" of all. I have found through countless trial and error that this is at least true for me. It makes so much sense to "[dare] to do better."
We just had a family council about how to make Christmas more meaningful this year. I was amazed when my kids were actually eager to simplify the gift tradition and focus more on service. I think our kids are hungry for meaning and purpose. They're idealistic and they want to be a part of making the world a better place. They want to feel joy.
I think my comment is going to be longer than your post if I don't stop now. I love your thoughts! Keep them coming. And I just had to tell you that when I told John about our conversation, his first comment was that he was sure you'd be homeschooling before the next school year. Wow!! Good luck. You're going to be an amazing home school mom!!!
I don't know how I came up as the Relief Society. Technology!!! At least my comment posted this time...
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