There Are Still Miracles

I know, because I just experienced one.

Last week I sang a solo in a Relief Society performance of Woman at the Well. First of all, let me say:

I AM NOT A SOLOIST.

I can carry a tune, but I am a choir girl. Did you read that??

CH-OI-R GIRRRRLLLLL

I have years of choral training, but have no idea what to do with a microphone in my hand. I do not know how to produce a vibrato (choir directors DO NOT LIKE vibrato). The sound of my own voice coming over the speakers freaks me out. I can't look at anyone. I have to close my eyes half the time just to get the words out. Do you understand what I'm saying here??

Why in the world I accepted to sing this solo, I cannot say. Actually, I can. Do you want to know exactly what went through my head in the 2 seconds between the invitation and my response?

"If I died tomorrow, I would not care if I completely flopped singing a solo at church."

Really. That's what I thought.

Too bad my heart wasn't listening to me that day. Things went okay rehearsing at home- if you never mind the fact that the babies would cry every time I started singing, and Miri would beg me to stop until I did. That was really encouraging. Especially since it's a song that a Mother sings to her daughter.....

So, no problem at home. No jitters, no worries, no big deal. After all, I warned them I don't sing solos....But then I got to the rehearsals, and the minute I'd sit on the stool with that awkward hunk o' metal in my hand, the twitching and trembling would set in and my heart would start pounding as if I'd just sprinted 500 meters. Try singing with THAT going on! Just try to fake a vibrato, let alone carry the tune.

Oi.

It happened over and over again at the rehearsals. And then after I'd sing, I'd get the shakes and sweats for 15 minutes! The last time I felt like that was after going through labor! Where did those nerves come from???!

Fast forward to the performance. One by one the numbers were sung, leading up to mine. Such beautiful songs, sung so perfectly and meaningfully by everyone. And then a song that mentioned miracles. I thought: "That's what I need. I need a miracle." Really. Truly. This was serious. I just wanted to be able to do the song justice- to convey the meaning. I could not do that with the shakes and shudders, twitching and trembling. So I prayed. I prayed that my legs would be still, that my heart would stay in my chest and that my voice would find it's way out. From that moment until my performance, I prayed for a miracle, with my whole heart.

And guess what happened.....

A WONDER from HEAVEN. I sang that song. I sang it with my heart intact and my legs in place and complete stillness inside. And I knew the second I began that my prayers were being answered-- and I smiled a big huge smile of gratitude inside.

You know what the best part about that experience is for me? The simple fact that my prayers were heard and were answered. Because if Heavenly Father heard those prayers, then he hears all of my prayers... and WILL answer them some way, some day. It's the fact that heaven said "Hello," and told me that I am heard, and that I am loved...and that our performance that night mattered.

Thank you, Ashley, for taking these pictures. This ended up being such a memorable experience for Abby and me. I'm glad to have a visual reminder of that night...and my own little miracle.