There is Something Gloriously Right

When your kids start doing their own laundry. You know what works at our house? Laundry Parties!!! I have to say something about this, because while there are a lot of things I haven't figured out yet, this one has been working for over a year now- and that's a pretty good track record. Last year, after the twins were born, the laundry took on mountainous proportions. I literally could not handle it on my own. Thankfully, every time Creighton would leave for the week, my SuperMom would come out and I'd come up with all these crazy ideas for how to survive. Not that this is a crazy idea, but it was definitely a do or die under a pile of socks and underwear situation for me, so I decided my kids were finally old enough (Luke was 6) to take on the mountains with me. The *with* part is key. Once a week, after washing about 10 loads, I would dump them all in a pile in my room, and hollar [with a BIG smile] "Laundry Party!!!!!" And everyone would come running to my room with whooping and hooting, and clothes would fly everywhere, and they would end up in neat little piles that would then get put away ever so nicely into their respective drawers and spaces. Mostly.


It took some initial introduction and training, but the kids caught on pretty quickly, and once a week, the massive piles of laundry continue to be sorted, folded and put away within about 15 minutes. I'm blown away every time. A few days ago, Abby actually came up to me and asked when we "get" to do laundry party this week! [WHAT??!] And I've decided it's because we do it together. It's morphed into a sort of silly time for them- clothes really do fly around for awhile, especially with two little Godzillas who love to undo whatever's been done- but with some prodding on my part, it gets done pretty quickly. Laundry party is a Hit! And so is Rec Room Ruckus (formerly Basement Bash), and Bathroom Blitz, and the 5 minute Quick Pick-Up. I'm sure I'm the last one in the world to come up with these things, but I have to document it nonetheless, for those times when I'm certain I've utterly failed at this Motherhood thing.


A long time ago, I decided that I wanted to figure out how to teach my children to want to help and serve others. I hope they will be the kind of people who see a need and have a natural reflex to run up and gladly offer assistance. How, exactly, does one do that? I'm pretty certain that's not an inherited trait. So, I was thinking and thinking and thinking about that, and praying inbetween, and the thought came to me that if I set the example by always recognizing when they need or would like help, and if I offer cheerfully to help them, then they would learn to do the same for others. And I realized that by teaching Luke to make his bed once or twice and then expecting him to do it on his own forever after at his young age, and getting frustrated when he wanted me right there with him, I was defeating myself in this goal.

It sounds backwards, doesn't it? We're supposed to teach them how to work for the sake of developing a strong work ethic, the ability to get a job done and done well, so that it trickles over into every other aspect of their life, right? We're supposed to teach them how to do it on their own, to work strongly and independantly, right? Well, yes, and no, I say. There comes a point when that is the purpose, but I realized that I was rushing all of that. I wasn't giving enough time to the "work together" principle, which, I have now realized, needs to come before the "work independantly" principle will ever be successful. And this all ties into the "offer cheerfully to help them" principle, so that work is seen as something that can actually be enjoyable and satisfying, first because it's done "together," and eventually because it's simply done, and done well.

This has to be why Laundry Party, and all the other little parties we have around our house, are successful- when they happen. Because we're working together. And truthfully, while I would initially much rather be more efficient and do the dishes while they're making their own beds, or mopping while they're cleaning up the Rec Room, it really is much more satisfying in the end to have set aside my own agenda for a few minutes and worked together with them to get the job done- even though they are physically capable, in most cases, of doing it all on their own. And the second they know I'm on my way to work with them, the weeping and whining miraculously stops, and it turns into a regular party! Of sorts. And when Daddy joins us?? Well there's no end to the merriment! And the converse is equally true- when I stop making time to cheerfully help and work together with them as much as I am able to, the whining and complaining and laziness increases exponentially, right along with their unwillingness to gladly help eachother. And that little voice inside always lets me know when I'm the one who's really at fault. I am happy to say, though, that Luke has successfully crossed over to the independant sphere of making his bed and cleaning his room alone without complaint. Now if I could just get him to bathe regularly sans drama-- because I'm not about to jump in the shower with him.

So how long will my house parties last?? If you have older kids and you're sitting here reading this and chuckling at my naivete, don't tell me. I don't want to know. I'm going to keep on living in my little laundry bubble until it bursts.

And then I'll come crawling for help.